Dear Lucifer,

It's been a day since I last wrote to you. You'll never receive these letters, at least I won't mail them to you. Maybe one day you'll stumble on my page and read every blog post I wrote about you, maybe you won't. I'm fine with both.

You see, the past few days I have been having nightmares, and you play the lead in all of them. They all start the same, you're an angel. Literally, wings and all. The plot differs but they all end with you showing your true face, like Tom Ellis aka Lucifer does.

Because that's what you represent to me. You have been my own personal devil since the start. You crept into my heart with your beautiful words only to reveal yourself as a devil who tried to change my ways. You see I promised myself I'd only give myself to the man I'd love forever and at (almost) 21 years old I can proudly say I haven't broken that promise. But you had me doubting myself, at one point I would have let you have your way with me. Because you were pretending to be everything I need. You were Mr. Darcy (both the Pride&Prejudice version and the Bridget Jones' version) and Hardin (Excuse my French: Harry) in one person.

But the last weeks you showed your true colours. You'd only text when you were bored (my guess.) or when you didn't have anyone else to play with. And one Friday night out with friends ended in tears, for me. And you know what bothers me most? You didn't even try to defend yourself, you just let me go like that.

And you might find my old fashioned, or even a prude. But I do not think that I'm wrong to want some romance and heat in my life. I won't settle for someone who's only interested when there is no one else around. I'd rather be a 40 year old virgin, still waiting on true love than a 20 year old who's angry at the world around her because a douchebag took something she could never get back end broke her heart right after.

So Lucifer, this probably won't be the last time I write to you, and I'm sorry if this bothers you.

Hope I'll sleep through the night for once.



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