Foto bij Soothing you (a little too well)

Lavender Diamond - I Don't Recall (please do haha)

‘So how do you plan on doing it with Tristan? Are you going to pick him up?’
Harry pouted. ‘I will have to, yes.’
‘What? That’s nice, isn’t it?’
‘Of course it is, yes,’ Harry said quickly and he ran a hand through his hair, ‘but it’s going to be at Caroline’s. I’m just afraid there’s going to be another fight again. And again, in his presence.’
I watched him. He genuinely seemed to be upset by the idea of ruining things again. I felt sorry for him.
‘I can always join you? Be there for you?’
Harry smiled at me. ‘That’d be lovely of you, dear, but you can’t. You being there with me as well would provoke more of Caroline’s angry feelings. I don’t want that to happen.’
I stayed silent for a few seconds, then eventually nodded. Harry watched me.
‘Don’t worry. It’ll be fine,’ he then said. I raised my eyebrows. ‘Why are you saying that? I’m the one who needs to tell you that.’
His mouth curled up. ‘I know you would.’
I laid my hand on his and squeezed softly. ‘Then let me for once. Let me the one to comfort you, instead of you trying to comfort yourself. That’s one of the reasons I’m here, isn’t it?’
He continued to watch me. I smiled encouragingly, trying to show him I meaned it. Soothing him, calming him.
He leaned forward, catching me off guard, and pressed his mouth to mine.

The seconds had turned into minutes into hours and into a day further in time. It was Thursday evening, and also another lazy one spent with Harry. I didn’t mind. Also because that day we’d been into town with Charlie, strolling around a bit, eating somewhere, picking a film Charlie liked and watching it. The day turned out to seem pretty tiring after all, as Charlie had fallen asleep in Harry’s arms when we were walking home again, and now I as well felt a bit sleepy. I turned my head and looked down.
I couldn’t see if Harry was asleep as his long body was spread over the couch, his head leaning on my shoulder and his long hair covering his face. I could see the pace of his breathing through his waist going up and down, which was soft and slow. Even if he was, I didn’t want to wake him. For him today had been even more tough than it was for me or Charlie, because he had to deal with fans or paparazzi as well. Of course, Charlie and I had, too, but there were many times where Harry, so-called sacrificed himself so Charlie and I would’ve had time to walk away and not get literally squished by loads of people. Harry would then later catch up with us.
I thought it was genuinely sweet of him. He never said out loud how he would ‘save’ us time and space, and he thought of it so naturally. Truth is, he didn’t have to do so. He could stay with us as well and so we could share the squishy feelings that came with it.
Of course, I knew I spoke of it too easily, because I didn’t yet know how Charlie would react. I mean, I had some sort of experiences with him, but never serious ones. And to do so, made me feel scared. I didn’t want him to feel scared. Maybe I even was more afraid of him associating those dangerous situations with his father. Because, yes, that’s what came with Harry, but it would never define who he was.

I continued to watch him. Not his face, because as I said earlier that’d get a bit difficult. Instead I watched his long body, which also felt hot against mine. I could never understand how he always seemed to be that warm. Not only in summer but especially in winter. I envied him for that.
As my eyes began to unfocus, very much unawaringly, my thoughs got lost, too.
I thought of the first evening Harry was back with us. Thought of how happy and warm I felt, next to the young man who I was also lucky with to know for at least a decade already. And secretly I hoped there would be loads more to follow. Even if we wouldn’t end as lovers.
I thought of the little accident that happened that same evening. How I had accidentally palmed his crotch, and how calm he was about it, while the inside of me was screaming, burning, panting.
I watched him in awe, see how relaxed he was now, and how much of an urge I started to get to take care of him. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to be beside him when he needed me, during times that were tough for him, especially with Tristan, for example, but also be beside him when he didn't need me at all.
I wanted to always take of him. I wanted to sooth him, care for him, watch out for him, catch him if he happens to fall, which everyone does sometimes, and I wanted to make sure he knows he is not alone. I wanted to love him.
I guess, though. As I stroked his hair out of his face and started to softly comb through it with my fingers, I knew I wasn’t ready to say it out loud. At least, the last part. I know a decade with Harry was long, very long, and liking him had never stopped, but it did stop me from saying all my thoughts and feelings out loud. Things were still new now, especially with two kids added, and I didn’t want to take any risks.
I left that part to Harry, though. He was the one to take risks between us. I would just go along.
My hand left his face and went over his shoulder, arm, and then waist. The warmth of his body burned through the fabric of his shirt, burning my fingers.

'Hey, I thought you were asleep as well,' his voice suddenly sounded from my lap. In his sleep he had eventually moved his body so his head laid very comfortably in my lap. I was lucky the book I was currently reading lay within reach so I could just get it and read without waking him. But now he had eventually woken up. I smiled down at him. 'I wasn't, no. Figured it would be nicer to watch you sleep. Then went to read eventually.'
Harry's tiny, sleepy eyes watched me, him coughing softly and then yawning. He closed his eyes again.
'If you want to continue sleeping you can, you know.'
'I know,' Harry responded, lightly smiling, 'but I will get up soon. Just a few more minutes.'
'Why? You can just go to sleep! It's fine.'
'No, I can't, or else I will have terrible hours of sleep tonight. And I don't want to be tired on the coming days.'
'The big days.'
'Yeah,' his voice sounded softly, 'the big days.'
He opened his eyes again. I met his gaze. Then started to stroke his face, soothing the skin with my fingertips, touching every bit of it and also his lips. Then he suddenly got hold of my wrist and opened his eyes, which had fluttered closed by my touch in the first place. He smiled up at me.
'You should stop. I was falling asleep.'
I smiled. 'Sorry.'
Harry, still holding my wrist, pressed his lips to the inside of it for a split second, before getting up with a loud grunt, his hair up and tangled. Now sitting up straight, his back to me, he rose his arms in the air, stretched out with a loud yawn and then let himself fall to the side, deciding he wasn't actually ready to get up.
'You get up, lazyhead!' I chuckled before pushing him with both hands. He got off the couch with another grunt, sending me a dark look before walking very sleepily to the kitchen. I turned to my book again, still chuckling.

An hour had passed and I now found myself in Harry's - I mean, ours, probably - room. I stood in front of the mirror, holding a couple pieces of clothing in my hands. Frowning, I held each one in front of my body, thinking and doubting what dress would be the most beautiful one to wear tomorrow. Of course, we were all going to try the bridesmaids' dresses again, just to make sure they all fit, but I still wanted to be dressed up in a dress. All for the upcoming days.
'I think you'd look great in all of them.' My eyes turned to the door, only to find Harry leaning against the wall, his hands shoved in his tiny pockets and his lips slightly turning into a small smile. I narrowed my eyes. 'But I can't wear all of them.'
'Who says you can't? If you want to wear all of them, then do so. Wear every piece for two hours then switch to the next one.'
The fact Harry was actually serious, made me giggle a little.
'Nothing,' I responded, shaking my head, smiling, 'nothing.'
Harry's frown, that had appeared before, was now gone again and instead a wide smile followed. 'You think I'm not serious.'
'Actually, I know you are, which makes it even more funny,' I said, again giggling. I watched Harry, shaking his head, smiling. 'Alright.'
I pulled a serious face. 'But seriously, I need the right one to wear.'
Harry looked at all the dresses for a split second only. Then he pointed to the one on the right. 'I like that one the most.'
I picked it up, examining it. 'Really?'
'Yeah, why not?' Harry responded, walking closer to me. 'I think it would match great with your hair and eyes.' I smiled up at him, watching his hair fall before his eyes when they looked down on me. Before he could raise his hand I raised mine, combing my fingers through his hair and then pulling it behind his ear.
I met his amused gaze again. Felt my cheeks redden, smiled clumsily, and lowered my hand. He caught it with his and intertwined his long fingers with mine.
I let myself pulled even closer to him, my nose almost touching his chest - that, if I were to break the eye contact and look straight ahead again.
'Are you sure this dress would be the best one?'
Harry smiled, his eyes slowly moving over my face.
'Yes, it would,' his low voice sounded, his lips moving along. I stared at them.
Harry raised his other hand, using it to grab all my hair and move it over my shoulder. His fingertips touched the skin of my neck softly, moving to the back. He raised it a little, so my face was in his palm and his thumb could stroke small movements on my cheek.
And all the way through his eyes had never left mine.
He blinked twice, frowning a little, but also smiling, with pink cheeks and bright eyes full of admiration, for me, and he came closer, and he kissed me. He kissed me.
I felt my heart beating rapidly, pounding against my rib cage and in my throat. I breathed through my nose, heavily and breathless, and got hold of his face. One of my hands went through his hair, and I could feel how soft it was, and I realized I was holding him almost too tight, so I loosened my grip, but at the same time Harry pressed harder. My other hand hid in the crook of his neck, pulling him closer, if that was even possible. I could feel and hear him breathing, just as heavily as I did, and both of his hands went behind my back, pressing my lower body against his, and his breath was caught for a moment, but his hands kept moving lower, until they both were on my backside, pressing me harder against him.
I felt amazing. Harry was amazing.

Ben ik weer... Haha... ik heb het eens in het engels geprobeerd om te kijken hoe dat zou zijn, en of ik dan misschien wel beter kan schrijven. laat dus maar vooral horen wat jullie ervan vinden!!:D

Trouwens, wie gaan hier allemaal naar het concert in belgië van de guys?? en wie is nederlands/belgisch haha?
ik heb zelf nog niet aan vriendinnen/medefans gevraagd wat die gaan doen hoor haha, maar ik had zelf het idee dat ik er begin die dag wel wilde zijn, om ze bv te zoeken en dan zou ik denk wel in een hotel moeten verblijven? of gewoon reizen lol?!?!
maar het probleem (VOOR NU) is een beetje het vervoer, of ik dat met iemand ga doen, en natuurlijk de dag zelf. ik wil harry dan ofc proberen te vinden (en als t kan de anderen ook ofc, maar harry is de eerste prioriteit lol) maar ik kan bijvoorbeeld in belgië mijn internet niet aanzetten, want dat kost ontzettend veel. én ik ken het daar niet! haha!
en wat voor plekken hebben jullie ook??? misschien zitten (ik zit voor deze keer, ja) we wel bij elkaar in de buurt!!:D:D
(ik zit nu trouwens serieus naar de sterrenhotels in brussel te kijken (nu al?!) om te kijken waar ze weleens kunnen zitten?? why?? why??

ik voel me nog steeds aardig kut haha. heb eergisteravond via de telefoon een gesprek met mijn moeder gehad. over mij en mijn gevoelens en gedachten en natuurlijk de opleiding e.d. Het plan zou graphic design zijn, ja, maar ik twijfel nog steeds en vind het wel leuk, maar niet ZO leuk.
doordat eigenlijk van mij verwacht wordt/werd dat ik een opleiding per direct zou vinden, en me dat niet zo lukte, voelde ik me als een mislukkeling, stom, iedereen teleurstellend. integendeel.
ik heb zojuist ook mijn vader aan de telefoon gehad, en mijn beide ouders vinden dat ik moet dan wat ik zelf wil, want dat is MIJN leven. en wat mijn vader er nog bij zegt: 'als je je leven maar oppakt'.
o, en waar we het dus over hebben, is dus pas volgend jaar inschrijven. ik heb veel stress en angst nu, en eerlijk gezegd voelde ik heel veel opluchting bij dat idee.
het plan is dan natuurlijk wel dat ik VEEL ga werken de komende maanden (ook zomer?) en dan daarna naar het buitenland haha:Ddat lijkt me heel vet! (en dan ondertussen wel nadenken over opleidingen natuurlijk)

Reacties (18)

  • RomyxHarry

    Ik ga ook naar concert in belgie en ik sta voor de eerste keer:)(in a2)

    4 jaar geleden
  • Bordelique

    Ik vind het in het engels persoonlijk mooier, maar het is jouw keuze natuurlijk!
    (In het begin las ik gewoon en had ik niet eens door dat het engelswas, haha)

    Ik ga niet naar het concert, omdat het in de examenperiode van mijn vrienden valt en in mijn laatste stageweek, dus het was niet echt een optie...

    4 jaar geleden
  • AngelicPower

    snel verder!!(Y)

    4 jaar geleden
  • carlinnoss4


    Ik lees persoonlijk liever in het Nederlands, het praten mag van mij wel in het engels.
    Maar je story blijft awesome!
    Ik maak er een weekendje weg van met mijn ouders en zus, en dan ga ik in een hotel slapen.
    En dan zaterdag het concert ofcourse:D

    4 jaar geleden
  • Lune_

    Wat een superstukje! Alweer (;
    Zelf heb ik het liever in het Nederlands, maar jij moet kiezen wat je zelf het beste vindt! Xx

    4 jaar geleden

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