Foto bij Chapter twelve

I wished a hole would appear in the ground and swallow me whole, alas that is not how life goes. I tried to stand up to avoid further drama. I was aware of the judging eyes and the soft snickers but I tried my best to call on that thing called confidence again. And I was failing horribly, nonetheless I made it to the bar. This time without falling. What a relief. I sighed, if that moment would be the defining moment of my night, I was doomed.

‘Something strong, please.’

The young man at the bar nodded, not even trying to hide his mirth at my obvious failure. I didn’t mind, were it anybody else I would have laughed too. But at this moment I was ready to cry, drown myself in strong liquor that I never drank. Yes, I was boring like that. I had never been a big drinker, the occasional wine, yes. The strong stuff? No. But I figured it might be time for something strong, a pick-me-up. Who was I kidding. I snorted at my own stupidity and swirled around to observe the vast crowd in the club.

Of course with no success, I tried searching for Liam. It was more likely he was in some VIP room I couldn’t dream of entering. Yeah, Liam was smooth like that. I heard the tinkling of ice in a glass and moved to grab my drink, putting some money back at the spot the drink had been. To confidence, I supposed. I chucked back the drink, relishing the burn it left in my throat.

I briefly wondered if I was supposed to dance now, but apparently it didn’t seem to matter, the people had already forgotten about my little slip up and moved on. Not paying attention to me anymore. That was a good thing, nobody would notice if I evaded the dance floor for the time being. This was a strange world I mused as I settled against the ledge of the bar. The people seemed either one with the music or one with alcohol and drugs. People felt right at home here, while I had never felt more uncomfortable in my entire life. I wondered how Liam could handle this every day, the bright spotlights, the loud music. It was a lot to take in, and my eardrums and eyes were already begging for peace and quiet. I obviously wasn’t prepared for this life.

The people were quite different from the ones I usually see and talk to as well. I was used to highly educated and professional people, who wouldn’t want to be found in a club like this. Ever. I suppose it all depends on the kind of people you identify yourself with and the person you choose to be. I tried figuring out if I liked this better or the people I’m usually with. I know what Liam would say, ‘Those dead people? Come on, this is much nicer. More alive.’.

Liam, sigh, Liam. My brother was a difficult one. As a child he had always been wilder than I was and as a teen frequently got in trouble while I was just at home, reading. He had always been the one getting in trouble, simply because I never did something. Mother would always reprimand me for being too closed while she reprimanded Liam for being too reckless. Really, that woman never was satisfied. I snickered, remembering the crazy things Liam would get into, and the hour long preaches that followed. However I was pulled out of my reverie harshly by a distinctly masculine voice.

‘Good evening, miss. I couldn’t help but notice you are without company. Can I get you a drink? And some company perhaps?’

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