Chapter 7 Kiss me, reborn
They didn't do much different than they normally did. Krystal came over and they watched a movie, or they went for a walk, or just listened to some music. They held hands, and cuddled together; both enjoying each other's company and touches. The only thing that they hadn't done before was stealing kisses in between. Sometimes a quick peck on the lip, but more than often it was a deeper kiss, once in a while even a make out session. At first, Krystal had still been shy with her affection. She had never kissed before, and if so, it would've been before she was turned, and she had forgotten everything of her otherlife. Amber couldn't imagine that she hadn't once been kissed in her previous life, and the thought already that some other guy, or girl, kissed her, made her hot with anger. Even when that person was dead already.
Slowly but surely, Krystal started to loose up a little more, until the moment where she didn't hesitate anymoore when she bowed down to kiss Amber. With every movie she watched she gained a little confidence too. To see couples make out on TV made her want to try it too, and who was Amber to oblige? Their kisses variated from sweet drama kisses, where the male pressed his lips slightly upon the woman's, and they were both too scared to move, to furious, passionate kisses which left them both panting and a beating heart. Depending on their moods, they kissed differently. Amber also noticed that Krystal wasn't as innocent with kissing and more than she had appeared to be. Maybe she had let her watch a few too many movies, but when she felt like it, Krystal could get very sexy. It was something that flustered Amber a lot, especially when the brunette really didn't understand that it had a certain effect on her.
"Stop moving your... hips like... that," Amber breathed in between the kisses.
They laid in Amber's bed, with the redhead on top, and Krystal underneath. She had wrapped her arms around Amber's neck, so tightly that she wouldn't be able to break free from her grip while their lips brushed over each other like they had done often this last month, familiar with the feeling of each other's lips against theirs. As if she ever wanted that.
Krystal had wrapped her legs around her waist and was now thrusting her hips up, so that they moved over Amber's, creating flames inside her body, starting between her legs.
"Why?" the brunette muttered. Her hips slumped down a little bit, but they were still very close to Amber's, and now that she had been turned on, every small motion of Krystal bucking her hips was now even more turning on.
"Because you arouse me when you do that, dumbass," she managed to say, when they broke up their kiss for a few seconds. Krystal lay, panting, underneath her, and she knew it was already too late to turn back now. She had gotten horny, and she hated herself for it. To see her girlfriend lay beneath her, so cutely, innocent and not-knowing, made her scold herself for sexualizing that, when clearly she had no clue. At least, Amber thought so, but those thoughts were wiped from her mind when she saw the brunette grinning devilishly.
"Oh really? Isn't that a good thing?" she asked, with that innocent voice of hers that drove the redhead crazy. Amber looked at her with an open mouth, unable to grasp that Krystal actually had wanted this to happen.
"You are one sneaky little girl," the redhead mumbled. Krystal started to chuckle and placed her hand upon Amber's arm. A shudder ran through her body, which made the brunette laugh more. Amber moaned, and dropped herself next to her girlfriend on the bed, covering her eyes with her hands.
"You're so mean," Amber said. Her voice sounded muffled through her hands. Krystal was still chuckling. Amber felt her lips on her cheek. She adjusted her body, so that she had wrapped one arm around Amber's waist and let their legs intertwine. It wasn't exactly helpful..
"I am mean? I am not doing anything!" Krystal whined. Amber let her hands slide from her face, and looked at her with an unimpressed expression, which made her even more laugh. The brunette placed a hand in front of her face to smother her laughter, but it was very much in vain. Amber at least couldn't appreciate it.
"No, really, I didn't know," she laughed. Amber shot her an unamuzed look.
"Yeah sure," she mumbled. Krystal chuckled and innocently curled a finger in het brown locks. She looked up at her girlfriend with those cute puppy eyes that no one was just able to resist.
"I promise I didn't know," she said. "Pinky swear!"
Krystal let Amber's hand go and hooked her little finger around Amber's.
"But I was hoping for such reaction, though," she said afterwards. Amber took her hand way and huffed.
"So you did know!" she exclaimed. "You pretty little liar!"
Krystal laughed cheekily.
"Hmm, I was aware that this could provoke certain feelings, but I didn't know whether it would work or not," she admitted. Amber rolled her eyes and sighed. Great, so she had been a guinea pig for Krystal's dirty fantasies? She wasn't exactly sure if she minded, though, which made it a lot worse.
"Well, it worked, you happy?" she sighed. Krystal pressed a kiss on her cheek, then let her head rest upon Amber's chest.
"Yes, I am. Now I know how to turn you on," she said. Amber could feel her smiling broadly. Of course this was incredibly entertaining for her. Amber couldn't share the same feelings.
"And you wanted to know how to turn me on...? Why, exactly?" the redhead asked. Krystal didn't look up, just chuckled.
"Just in case," she replied. "Just because."
Amber pursed her lips. She looked up to the ceiling, and placed one arm underneath her head. She had the other wrapped around Krystal.
"You, perhaps, aren't ready already, are you?" she asked softly, after a while.
"Oh, are you really going to make me say it?" Amber grumbled. "For sex, I mean."
Krystal stayed silent for a moment, then shrugged.
"I don't think so. Not yet. I just wanted to try something. Is that weird?"
Amber smiled. She took her arm from underneath her head, and ran with it through Krystal's hair. She felt the brunette relax immediately, and exlaim a sigh, leaning into her touches. Amber continued like that before she gave an answer.
"It is not weird wanting to experiment. But like, maybe you can tell me first, because then I know to control myself," she said. Krystal laughed.
"Took a note of that," she chuckled. "I will tell you next time."
Amber secretly was glad Krystal wasn't ready to have sex yet, because she neither was ready. It wasn't like Amber was afraid of having sex. She had had sex before, as well as with women as with men. The idea of sex was familiar to her, and she knew some tric and spots that would be liked. It was just that she was afraid of having sex with Krystal. In particulairly Krystal.
Amber wasn't afraid to get bitten, or something ridiculous as that. Krystal had proved with their countless of kisses that she didn't bite, and barely had the urge to sink her teeth in Amber's skin, she had once admitted. Logically, kissing for Krystal was a lot more trouble for her than it was for Amber, but until now the brunette hadn't acted upon that small animalistic need of her body, and kissing had been safe.
Having sex was something different. To Amber, is was just something that comes with a relationship, something you do when you both feel comfertable enough with each other. It could either be very hot and intense, or sweet and loving, which depended on her partner and both of their moods. For Krystal, Amber knew it was more than that. She knew that there were certain feelings attached to sex, and it was probably the highlight of their relationship for her. It frightened the redhead to know Krystal thought of it that way.
Amber knew she wasn't the worst lover in bed. She had some skills, if she said so herself. She knew that she could make it Krystal's worth while and she had no doubt that whatever Krystal would do to please her in return, it would be enough and it would be magical. It was just scary to think that this was something that Krystal was expecting a lot of their first time, and Amber didn't know if she could live up to that. She didn't want Krystal to be dissapointed in her, but at the same time, she didn't know how to improve. She didn't want to lower herself as much by reading smutty fiction online to gain more confidence and skill, nor did she want to google for tips.
She was glad that Krystal wasn't ready yet, because that gave her some time to prepare too. She wanted their first time to be special, if there ever was a first time. Amber was still fearing that Krystal might break up with her somehow. Everytime her girlfriend was with her, she took that fear away. She kissed her so tenderly and sweet, that it was impossible to even consider that Krystal might not love her. But as soon as she left the morning after since she always spend the night nowadays it left a hole in her heart, that came with an incredible melancholy. Dark thoughts entered her mind, and at least once a day she would be thinking about what would happen if Krystal indeed left her. How heartbroken she would be...
And then to think that she at first had been scared of the girl, it was ridiculous.
With a hidden relationship, came the occasional slips, especially in front of Amber's friends. They had wanted to keep it a secret, until they were both sure about coming out, but they both weren't good at hiding things. Amber was just too clumsy and Krystal's cheeks flared up everytime the members made a comment. They sometimes forgot to let each other go when they held hands and entered the room. They were so close that even Victoria started to be bothered by the enormous ammount of sexuality. And last but not least, Sulli had caught Amber kissing Krystal's cheek when she was about to leave. She had barged into the hallway without knocking, and surprised both of them.
So, it didn't take a long time before the members unraveled the truth. Also, kinda, because they were caught kissing. Not a quick peck on th elips, but a full french kiss with moans and everything. And of course it happened to be Luna who had seen them. It was as if faith was teasing her.
Her best friend had walked without knocking into Amber's room, in mid-sentence asking whether she wanted pizza or fries tonight. If Amber had been paying attention to her, instead of having her mouth attached to Krystal's, she would've probably known the answer already. They admitted themselves twice a month a junkfood-day, and since pizza was Luna's favourite food, there was a very big chance that they'd eat that tonight.
But Amber's mind had been completely blank, and she hadn't heard the footsteps in the hallway, sounding alarmingly close to her door. Now that she remembered it, she reckoned that Krystal had heard Luna, since she had felt Krystal pinch her wrists slightly just seconds before Luna barged in. Amber had been too far gone to pick up the signals, and had been completely baffled when the door to her bedroom was suddenly slammed open, and light filled the room. The redhead, who had been hovering over Krystal's body the whole time, threw herself off her friend, in a hope that Luna wouldn't have noticed, but the girl had already ran back to the livingroom, loudly screaming: "THEY WERE KISSING, I REPEAT, AMBER AND KRYSTAL WERE KISSING! SULLI YOU OWE ME FIVE BUCKS!"
Amber's heart sank, and she literally felt like dying. Krystal sat up in the bed, and ran with a hand through her messy hair.
"You know it was just a matter of time," she said.
"I know, but that doesn't mean I have to like it," Amber grumbled. "Better to go and tell them now and be done with it."
So they walked hand in hand to the living room, where the three individuals that called themselves Amber's friends waited for them with broad, cheeky grins on their faces. Amber was literally able to shoot them now.
Krystal was hiding a bit behind her back, which was quite a challenge because she was taller than Amber was. Her gaze was pointed at the ground, and a shy smile was covering her face. She held Amber's hand with both hands, and clearly waited for her to speak. Amber took her time, and let her gaze go from one member to the other. Eventually, she said:
"You betted on us?"
Luna and Sulli started to chuckle.
"I won!" Luna chimed, waving her freshly won five dollar bill in the air. The maknae huffed in response and crossed her arms.
"She's so mean, she takes away my hard earned money! Does it feel good, to steal from a child?" she asked Luna, with pouted lips. Luna pushed her. Sulli dramatically draped her body all over the couch.
"You agreed to bet with me, and you lost. This is how betting works, my sweet baby girl," she laughed. Amber sighed, and shook her head. She rubbed with her thumb and index finger in her eyes.
"Where did you bet for?" she forced herself to ask.
"Whether you and Krystal would come out yourself or we had to drag it out of you," Sulli said. "I really had faith in you unnie, that you'd tell us yourself. I am dissapointed."
"You're just jealous that I know her better," Luna teased. "Our Amber would never come out herself because that would mean endless teasing by us."
"What are you saying now, Sunyoung? That Amber doesn't like our teasing?" Victoria asked innocently. The three girls burst out in giggles, and even Krystal chuckled a little bit. Amber couldn't laugh, and stared at them with a death glare, which, of course, made them laugh even harder.
After they were done laughing, Amber and Krystal got a chance to explain everything. Her friends were more mature than Amber thought they would be, and sincerely asked questions. For how long they have been together. Perhaps, one or two months since the kiss, and from then on they had started their relationship. When did they fall in love? Krystal didn't know, Amber guessed a month or three ago, just before their promotions. How far they had gone? Well, it hadn't turned into sexual intercourse yet, but they often had been half past the foreplay before they called it off because one of them was not ready. They were slowly getting there, but for now just enjoying whatever they were comfertable with. What their future plans were? Staying together.
But of course, there was also time for teasing, even worse than before.
As soon as Krystal entered the house at night, Luna and Sulli immediately started to cheer that 'Amber's girlfriend had arrived'. It wasn't not true, but it annoyed her nonetheless. Krystal was only able to mutter a small 'Good evening' with a shy smile before getting over to Amber's room. And they thought they were safe there...
Luna barged in there because of reasons which were so unnecessary that Amber had once thrown a pillow to her face. 'Just wanted to check that you guys weren't having sex when we are around,' had been one of her arguments after barging in, or, 'Just checking if you guys use protection!'. Amber was literally able to kill her, or at least chase her with a pillow and give her a merciless tickle-death. Krystal often just laughed when Luna came in, especially at Amber's reaction.
The romantic mood would completely dissapear after, which was probably the reason why Luna came in so much, but Krystal said she didn't mind it. Amber did though. But at the same time, she guessed that she would've been twice as bad if Luna got herself a boyfriend. And it could have been worse. At least they were teasing Amber, and left Krystal alone. She was able to handle her friends. Sulli had a secret affair to, where she could tease her with. Victoria was often in China god knows what she was doing. The only person that was completely innocent was Luna, who was the main causer of all the drama. When they were at the dorm, it wasn't even that bad, but once Luna had stated an obvious hint in an interview that Amber was in a relationship. Her cheeks must've flared up so badly, but luckily the interviewer had been too busy to question Sulli about her modelling career to pay attention to Amber and Luna. No doubt the fans saw it though. A day after there were at least ten different theories going around the internet what Luna could've meant in her comment, and why Amber's cheeks had gotten red. Luckily SM only viewed them as fan theories, and left the members alone.
Amber had no intention of coming out to her fans. It was better for the both of them if they kept it a secret. Amber didn't know how the fans would react upon her dating, let alone a woman. She'd get so much more spotlight, whilst she actually wanted to stay home with her girlfriend.
Krystal's secret would of course be unraveled, or otherwise she'd be bashed for not smiling on camera whenever the two of them came out. It was a vicious circle with no positive concequences.
Luckily Krystal didn't mind. Sure, there were some extra complicities now that the other f(x) members knew about them, but she didn't mind the occasional bursting into their room or the comments.
"Does it bother you, then?" she asked Amber. They laid in bed together, Krystal's head leaning upon Amber's arm, her arms wrapped around her girlfriend's waist.
"Kind of. I mean, I wished they would just leave us alone," she admitted. "Doesn't it bother you? Everytime we kiss Luna barges in. And whenever you aren't here, they make all these inappropriate sexual jokes.."
"Do you think it's funny?" the redhead huffed. "You're one of them!"
The girl shook her head. Her fingers were drawing circles on her lower arm.
"Do you remember what you said to me, before we kissed for the first time?"
Amber thought for a moment, then shrugged.
"That there are different types of love. Don't you see that their teasing is their way to express their love?" Krystal explained. Amber raised one of her eyebrows.
"Since when did you become an expert on love? Wasn't I supposed to be the teacher instead of the student?"
"Does that blow a hole in your enormous ego?" The brunette laughed. Amber let out a chuckle. She ran with her hand through Krystal's hair. Her girlfriend sighed of pleasure.
"Yes, yes it does," she laughed. Krystal looked up to her and wiggled her eyebrows.
"Better get used to it then, Stupid," she said.
Amber laughed, and just let it be. Krystal placed her head back on her arm, and closed her eyes. The redhead let her fingers play with her hair, and her eyes dwell over her face, taking in every slightest inch of her skin. The high cheekbones and soft jaw. A small nose, and medium-shaped lips, not too plump or too thin, perfect as they were, with a healthy pink colour. Her skin that looked like porcelain, fair and pale. Two eyebrows that needn't any epilating. Her eyes were closed, but when they were not, they showed those incredible large puppy-eyes, that shrinked together when she laughed. The perfect little eye-smile. Only the memory of it made Amber smile already.
And don't get her started on her actual smile. Not that half-assed tiny smile she always showed Victoria, but her real, full-blown smile that covered her whole face, seemed too big for it at some times. Where she laughed without being ashamed, with her fangs open and wide, not scared what Amber would think. Her laugh would fill the room, and Amber was literally able to get drunk on that laugh.
She wasn't afraid anymore to admit that she had hopelessly fallen for Krystal. It was too obvious to deny too. She felt so strongly for the girl that it was almost inbearable. All these feelings rushing through her body whenever she looked at her. Amber felt a great need to protect her, to give her all the love in the world. Krystal had gone through so much, that it was almost unthinkable that she had opened up towards Amber. She felt blessed, she felt happy, she felt special. Krystal had chosen her. And it was almost too hard to imagine that she had chosen her to trust; to be friends with; to fall in love with; to love. Krystal gave her so much, that it would feel wrong not to give her the world.
"I love you," Amber said softly. It was only right to say it now. It felt right, it felt good. And she wanted Krystal to know, more than anything.
"I love you too," came the casual response. Her feather light voice was like a melody, a well timed song that not even the greatest composers like Mozart, Bach or Beethoven could've composed. Her voice combined with those words was the sweetest thing she had ever heard.
"You know, for humans this is kind of a very big thing to say for the first time," Amber added.
"I know it is. You are one of the two people that love me, I don't take your love for granted, Amber. The reason why I sounded so casual was because I know. I know you love me."
Amber smiled some more, and bowed down to press a tender kiss upon her girlfriend's mouth. She happily kissed her back. Their lips moved over each other's for a moment, then they broke up. It wasn't passionate, but it wasn't the time for a passionate kiss. It was time for a short, sweet kiss. One that showed I-know-you-love-me. And they knew. They knew they loved each other. There was no doubt anymore.
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