A little bit uncomfortable, I decide to order the same drink as I had a month ago and I sit myself down at the exact same spot.

But this time he isnít there. A big sigh of disappointment leaves my mouth as I put my hands around the coffee cup. This time he wonít be here to warm up my hands. The worst thing about this feeling is that Iím so confused. Why do I feel like this? I have everything; a house, a loving husband, the sweetest dog and an amazing study which is going to give me the coolest job in the future. Why do I feel so empty inside these days? The strangest thing about all of it is that life went on. Everything is the same, but it feels like everything changed for me. I didnít look at his social media channels even once. I guess Iím too afraid of what I may found there. I take a sip from my coffeecup, feeling the warmth steaming in my face. Itís actually really good, I think to myself a little bit confused. Itís a pity I didnít even try it when I first got it. We could have had something to talk about, even if it was only about the coffee. I felt so stupid, sitting here in silence while the only thing he focussed on, was his phone. His phoneÖ Suddenly I feel like my brains start to work on full speed again. I grab my phone out of my pocket again, accidentally spilling half of my coffee over the table. ĎOh please...í My voice almost sounds like Iím begging myself to be less clumsy. ĎAre you stupid or what?í The girl behind the counter sounds even worse than I can remember as her voice is filled with horror. She cleans the table like a little child being punished by her mom, giving me some deadly looks. I donít pay too much attention to her, as I continue what I was doing. The screen of my phone shines bright in my eyes and it takes a little while before I realize I havenít been looking on my phone for quite some time. As I open my HH application, scrolling down, a month back, Iím gasping for air.

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