Namjoon POV

So there I was, in Jins apartment out of sudden. It was nice and clean, way cleaner than my house. It was also smaller, but it was reasonable for one person.
‘Would you fancy something to drink?’, he asked softly. ‘Yes please. Water is okay.’ He handed me a glass of water and sat down next to me on the couch. I pulled out my phone and decided to call Bohee so she wouldn’t think that I was dead or cheating. ‘I need to call my girlfriend for a moment.’, I mumbled, and got up to the other room.
‘Hey babe.’ ‘Namjoon!’ I sighed because of her hysterical screaming. ‘Where are you?!’ ‘I’m at a friends’ house. Don’t worry Bohee, I’m fine. I was looking for Koya’s name tag when it started raining and thundering and he offered me to stay at his apartment until it was safe to drive again.’ ‘Please come home~‘, she nagged. ‘But it’s dangerous outside.’ ‘It’s not that bad.’ I could hear her pouting over the phone. ‘Please come home. I need you~’ I grabbed my hair in frustration and growled: ‘Fine. But if I’ll get struck by lightning, it’s your fault.’ ‘You won’t.’ ‘I’l see you in a few minutes then.’ ‘I love you, Joonie~’ ‘I love you too, Bohee.’

‘Is something wrong?’ Jin looked at my frustrated face with a concerned look in his eyes. ‘No it’s ok. I have to go home.’ ‘But it’s storming! Isn’t that very dangerous?’ I shrugged and said: ‘I guess it is. But I still have to go home.’ ‘Did something bad happen?’ ‘No, my girlfriend just wants me to home. She’s always like that, and it’s not like I really have any choice.’ Jins brows frowned and he pouted his plump lips a little. ‘You don’t sound very happy about needing to go home. You’re really not bothering me, if that’s why you want to leave.’ I sighed for the thousandth time that day and rubbed the back of my neck. ‘No no, it’s just my girlfriend and I... Our relationship isn’t as good as it used to be. She’s probably in a shitmood when I come home, because I was at someone’s house without her permission. She sometimes sounds more like a concerned mother than a girlfriend.’ I saw him biting his lip, unsure what to say. ‘Well, be safe.’, he breathed. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow at the training.’ ‘Yeah, see you tomorrow. Feel free to sit with us at lunch break. And thank you for being so nice and letting me stay over.’

After only one minute outside, I was already drenched in the rain. Luckily, Jins apartment was close to our house and I was home pretty quickly. A couple of times, the thunder seemed way too close, and I almost steered into a building because I was startled by the loud bang.
‘Welcome home!’ Before I could even take my coat off, I got welcomed by Bohee who ran up to me and hugged me tightly. I smiled and hugged her back, but she pulled my hands off her so she could kiss me. After kissing for a while, she started to not only take my coat, but also my shirt off. ‘Bohee, stop.’, I sighed. ‘Let’s just take a shower and go to sleep, ok? I’m sorry, but I’m extremely tired.’ She pouted and stroked my stomach. ‘Don’t you love me?’
There we go again.
‘I do, my love. I’m just really exhausted today, I promise I’ll make up for it later.’ ‘I heard Lilla’s boyfriend goes to bed with her whenever she wants to.’ ‘Well I’m not Lilla’s boyfriend and you’re not Lilla. I want to sleep.’ She clanged to me and tried to kiss my neck. ‘You don’t love me anymore.’, she mumbled with blame in her voice. ‘Bohee, stop this. It’s annoying me. You know that I love you so please just accept for a moment that I’m not in for sex right now.’ ‘But I need you! I promise I’ll never nag for it again. I’ll make you enjoy it.’ I closed my eyes and knew I had no way of escaping from it. I felt weak for not being able to reject her orders like these, but I was just so afraid of losing her if I kept saying ‘no’.
Although sex wasn’t a new thing for me, especially not with Bohee, I couldn’t help but feel so dirty and weird afterwards every time. Like something was very wrong and I wasn’t supposed to do it. And for some reason that feeling was even stronger than usual that night. What was wrong with me?

‘Yo, Joon.’ I gave Brian a weak fistbump when he walked into the changing room but continued changing into my boxing clothes. I was so exhausted, not being able to sleep that night. ‘How are you?’ I yawned and answered: ‘Tired as hell, if I am honest.’ ‘Why? Couldn’t you sleep?’ ‘My girlfriend.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Did you guys...?’ Brian wiggled his eyebrows. I sighed and rolled my eyes again. ‘Yes.’, I just said calmly while slipping my foot into a shoe. Brian first made a sound like he wanted to laugh, but then stopped and asked with an insecure voice: ‘Did she... force you again?’ I groaned, ruffled my hair in frustration, and nodded with a bit of shame in my stomach. I felt so weak and dirty, talking about something like that. ‘You should really break up.’ ‘I don’t want to, I’m fine.’ ‘Rape isn’t fine, Namjoon.’ ‘She’s not raping me, Brian.’ ‘It’s Young K.’ ‘Whatever. Just mind your own business, Brian.’ Brian sighed and walked up to me so he was standing next to me. ‘I’m sorry, Joon. I didn’t mean to make you angry. I’m just worried about my friend, that’s all.’ I gave him a soft, playful smack against the back of his head. ‘Don’t be.’

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