I watch her leave the room before I heave back a sigh. Maybe what I’m doing to her is immoral but I don’t give a shit. I thought I finally found happiness, but it turned out to be an ugly lie. Everything was a big fucking lie. After the woman I loved left me on the altar and ran off with another man, life is just… emptiness. I now see the world in black and white. There is no longer beauty in life. It’s all fake. I changed for her. I stopped fighting. I studied hard so I could take care of her in the future. I wanted to become the person that she could rely on. Who knew she ended up falling for that bastard instead. That day when she left me, I gave in to the real me. No more Mr. Nice Guy. I became who I was before: a monster. I no longer give a shit. Not after that bitch cut my heart into fucking pieces and left me to die. Fighting is what I do best. It’s the only way to feel empty when my heart is crumbling. It helps to numb the pain. So I let myself bleed until my heart feels nothing.
When I saw those two street punks trying to lure a woman into their web, I stepped in. It wasn’t to save her, I did it because I wanted to see blood. I wanted to feel blood and inflict pain. She turns out to be an ungrateful whore… Which is a pity, especially since she’s worth to look at. That mane of red hair… it’s like a river of blood. And they flowed brightly under the moonlight. I had the urge to bury my hands in her hair and inhale it. I planned to leave her. I didn’t care why she was desperate enough for money. But when she lifted her large, brown eyes at me, I stilled. And my dead heart started to beat.
Her eyes reminded me of her, the woman I loved. It was that same look. Even though she looked weak outside, but behind those eyes held her spirit. And her spirit soared behind those glassy eyes in defiance and I wanted to yank her and kiss her senselessly. It was why I gave her the money. I wanted her to stay by my side. So I can break her spirit until she lies broken on the floor. I’m going to break het into pieces. Like me.
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