Foto bij Chapter 5

The start of September 2025

The next morning, I feel awful. And I look awful too, my eyes look like I have been doing drugs non-stop for the last 3 years. I have bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep and my lips are cracked from dehydration. My heart aches in a way I havent felt since I came to London. I sigh and decide to take a shower, maybe I can wash away his memory. I fail, of course I do, but I do feel a bit better. I put on more make-up than usual to cover the bags. The purple line I put under my eyes makes the green in my eyes pop and I feel a bit better. I may not feel too good, but I sure as hell will look good today. I take a leftover scone from a couple of days ago and put it in the oven. I make sure Prince feels loved and has enough food and fresh water to get through the day. Thanks, Princey, I dont know what I would do without you. I pick him up and give him a kiss on his nose. I put him on the ground and take my scone out of the oven. I put some raspberry jam on it, take my bag and walk out of the door. When I get on the underground, I take my phone and check my messages. Ive got 15 in total. Three from Rose, four from James, two from my mum and six from Emma. I text Rose and James:
Laure: Im on my way and I will explain everything when I get there.
I text my mum:
Laure: Im okay. Dont worry about me.
Then, I start reading Emmas messages:
Emma: Laure, your mum just called me and explained everything. Call me?

Laure, do not think about him for a second okay? Hes not worth it! Hes not worth your tears! Youre finally doing great.

Laure, Im serious. I dont get why hes doing this to you.

Laure, please. Answer my calls!

Okay, I get it. You dont want to talk. Could you just text me to let me know youre still alive?

Laure? Rose tells me youre late. Im officially worried now. If you do not call me within fifteen minutes, I will tell her to go check on you.

The last one was sent ten minutes ago. I decide to call her. Laure! Thank God! Do you know how worried we are? She yells through the phone. I know she sounds mad, but most of all she sounds relieved. Im sorry, Em. Im on my way to work. Im fine. No, youre not. Your voice is still hoarse from crying. Dont lie to me young lady. Yes, I cried a lot last night. I cant face him Em. Not after what happened the last time. Seeing him will not be good for me. I know hun, do you want me to hunt him down and tell him he has to leave you alone? I smile. Em, no. His parents are friends of mine. It was inevitable that I would see him again. Its a miracle I got to avoid him for so long. What you call a miracle, you left Belgium as soon as you could to avoid him! And when youre home you only leave it to see your grandparents, me or some other friends and you pick places you know the chance of seeing him there is slim! I do not! Besides, hes not the reason I left for London. It was a big plus that I would not see him if Id live in London. But the job offer just came at a right time. And look where it took me, Em. I smile, London had always been my dream, that it came at a time where I needed to leave Belgium as soon as possible was an amazing coincidence. You dont get it Laure! He treated you like shit and the minute you saw a way out you packed your stuff and left! she starts yelling again. He didnt just treat me like shit Em! He took everything from me. He took my dignity and my trust in men. He took away my safe place! I have to stop myself from yelling since Im still in public. Also I start crying. Em, I love you, but you have absolutely no idea how I felt and still feel. I have to go now. Bye. I know I sound harsh, but screaming at me will not help me. I need to get to my safe place, my kitchen. I wipe away my tears and get on with it.
Its a little past 9 when I walk into the bakery. When Rose and James notice me they drop what theyre doing and run to me. They hug me so tight I can hardly breath but I let them. Laure, my God we were so worried! Are you okay? Rose asks while taking my face in her hands. I try to smile but I fail. First, let me breath. They let me go, and I answer her. Im not, but I will be. Mum told me Jace is coming by to visit next month. The noise coming out of their mouths is one of disgust. Of course they know about him, not as detailed as Emma or my mum do, but they know enough. Emma told Rose when I was drunk and ready to call him. Thank the Gods Rose did not let me and ordered me to call Emma instead. I had been to drunk to really talk to her so Emma explained who he was on the phone. James knows because he wanted a reason why I didnt trust him. He knows Jace screwed me up, and that I dont trust men. And is there a reason hes coming? Or is it just because youre doing good and he needs to screw that up too? I dont know why hes coming. All I know is that hes coming next month and he wants to see the bakery. I assume shes coming too, but Im not sure about it. I let out a sigh and flee into my safe place. Can we all just get back to work? I need some distraction and talking about him is no good. Hell come, and theres nothing I can do about it. I start working, Rose and James just look at each other and go back to the front. I hear them whispering to each other in between customers but I dont pay attention to it.
The day goes by, too quickly. Both James and Rose have left already and Im left on my own. I put the music on so loud I cant think and start baking. When Im done Im famished, so I close up as quick as I can and go home. When I get home I decide to text everyone again.

Laure: Im home. Im not okay, but I will be. Love you xLaure

Thank the Gods I still have that left over pizza from yesterday. This time, I eat all of it.

The next days I spent in silence. I only talk when I really have to and at work I spend more time in the kitchen than I ever did before. I made up some more recipes, a raspberry-brownie, a berry-scone. I even made a healthy breakfast cupcake with oaths and banana, topped with seeds. Emma and I talked about it and made up. I know she told Rose to keep an eye on me, shell never admit it but I know her better than that. They all are worried. And I love them for it, but I need to process this.

Ik ben momenteel op het verjaardagsfeestje van mijn neefje! Ik heb de afgelopen dagen ver vooruit kunnen schrijven. Dus ik kan tijdens mijn examens gewoon door activeren! Hebben jullie examens?

Geniet van jullie weekend!

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