With a racing heart I looked at the door. someone just knocked and it scared the hell out of me. I walked over to the door and opened it, just to see Seb standing there.
'Jesus, you scared the hell out of me man' I said to him while opening the door further to let him in. 'sorry, maybe I should've let you know I'll come by' he said and stepped inside 'how do you even know where I live?' I asked him, walking to the kitchen.
'I may have called Dan' he told me, 'traitor' I said and turned to him 'coffee?' I asked and he nodded.
'but, what are you doing here Seb? I told you over the phone that you need to give me some time. it's not like it's forgiving and forget' I told him, I was a little confused, seeing him.
'and I know that and I really respect that, but I just needed to see you, I'll hope you understand that' he said, giving me a little smile 'I do understand, but please call next time you do ok?' I gave him his coffee and we walked outside to sat ourselves down at the lounge set.
'I'm sorry Aiv. I know I told you before, but I am really sorry. And I really want us to be ok before the baby arrives' 'I want that to Seb, and I promise you everything is going to be okay' I gave his hand a little squeeze and a little smile 'I know, I can wait. I will wait, I will give you all the time you need' he said, kissing my cheek. It felt familiar, it felt good.
'you want to go out for dinner?' Seb asked after an hour of talking in the garden 'i would love that Seb' i smiled at him and then looked to the clock on the wall, finding out it was almost six o'clock 'let me change, be right back' i walked up the stairs and into my room.
was i really going to have dinner with Seb? was i ready for this? I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed, yes i was. I grabbed a black dress and my favorite white adidas sneakers and changed.
'you look stunning Aiv' Seb told me when i walked into the living room again. I felt my cheeks turning red and looked at the floor. 'I mean it Aiv' Seb said and walked over to me, he stopped in front of me and looked at me, 'you are always stunning' he said with a smile, I smiled back at him, ignoring the little butterflies in my belly.
'may I uh, may I touch your belly?' he asked, sounding nervous. 'of course' i said, with shaky hands, he put both his hands on my belly. it felt overwhelming, his hands on my pregnant belly, I thought I would never feel this way. it was a great feeling.
'hi, little one. your daddy is here' he said softly while rubbing his thumbs over my belly, with tears in my eyes I looked at him, smiling. he looked up, looking worried when he saw me crying. 'You ok?' he asked immediately. I just nodded, incapable of saying anything.
'happy tears?' he asked, putting one hand on my cheek while the other still lay on my belly. 'happy tears' i said, he rubbed away my tears 'why?' he asked softly, giving me a lovable smile.
'just this, i never taught this was going to happen. and it feels so good, like it never been any different, like you haven't been gone for the last couple of months. and how much I really want to give myself some time to forgive, to let you in again. I can't, I want you back in my life, I want you to share this pregnancy with me, go to appointments with me, choose a baby room together, do everything together for the baby, cause he needs you, and so do I Seb. I need you' I told him crying.
he was looking at me with tears in his eyes 'i, uh, wow' he stumbled, i put my hands on his chest, playing with the knobs of his shirt. 'Aiv?' he asked, he put his thumb and forefinger under my chin, gently pressing my head up, when I finally dared to look into his eyes I melted, those blue eyes, the ones I fell in love with, the ones I'm still in love with.
I saw his head approaching mine, i let out a little shivery breath, locked my eyes with his again and then felt his soft lips on mine. my legs got numb and I grabbed him tighter not to fall. He put one hand on my cheek, the other one went down my spine and he rested it on my bum.
the moment his lips connected with mine it felt good, it started with just a little kiss on the lips, I opened my eyes again and looked at him. we both took a little breath and before I know I pushed my lips against his, hard. I needed him, in every single way. the kiss got deeper and more sensual.
'Seb' i moaned when his lips reached my neck and gave it a couple of kisses. 'Hmm,' he answered 'i need you' i said, he looked up at me, with a smug look on his face. 'what about that sauna of yours?' he said and winked at me. 'let's go then' i said, grabbing his hand, pulling him with me. Dinner? What dinner?
'so, we are all good then?' Seb asked, after our little sauna adventure we were laying on the bed, his head on my shoulder while his hand made little circles on my belly. 'all good Seb. I've missed you, and to be honest, maybe I already forgave you a little. but I haven't forgot about it' 'ow I know that and trust me, I will make you forget it' he said and pressed a kiss against my cheek.
after dinner, that we ordered online, we found ourselves on the couch, curling up against each other, his hand, again, on my belly 'you can't let it go hi?' i asked, looking at him with a smile. 'i already missed too much, let me make up for lost time' he said and i smiled at him. i was happy he was here with me.
'woo' Seb said, pulling his hand away 'what?' 'he's kicking i guess' he said and i laughed, he looked so shocked. 'yeah, he does that often, he even hurts me sometimes' i said, grabbing his hand and put i back on my belly, the baby kicked again and Seb's eyes widened again. 'this is so cool' he said.
he shifted on the couch, so that he was lying on his belly, grabbing mine belly with both hands 'hi little boy, it's dad again. I'm so happy I'm finally here' he said and pressed a kiss against it, making me smile. the baby kicked again and Seb smiled widely at me 'you see that, he can hear me. mein lieber Sohn, ich liebe dich schon sehr, ich werde immer für dich und deine mutter da sein' he told to my belly and kissed it again.
'What did you say?' I asked him, while rubbing my hand through his hair. 'how much I already love him, and that I will always be here for him and his mother' he said, smiling at me. 'i love you Seb' i told him 'i love you to Aiv' he told me back, kissing my belly again.