Letter to you
Have you ever wondered why it is that with some people it comes so naturally? How is it that sometimes you instantly click and everything flows so effortlessly? How did you instantly replace oxygen and when you leave it feels like choking.. Why does everything real have to become so overwhelming? I wish you could pick who you start caring about. I wish it was easy to talk about feelings and my past with everyone. I wish you were easy to replace but the reality is youíre not.
And, to be honest, I have to be my own person for a little while. I think Iíve forgotten what it feels like to be me. How easy it is to let someone become you.. It seems easier to stop caring all together, but I already feel so numb all the time. I wish I could cry because I know Iím sad, but I push everything so far down it no longer feels like sadness of happiness, itís their echo. You can hear it quietly ricocheting from afar but it never gets close enough to make up what actual word it wouldíve been. Explain my brain to me like you always try to so I can tell you that youíre wrong.
Honestly I donít even understand myself. Please donít ask me what I want because Iím not sure. Explain to me how to be a whole person again because Iím tired of being a shell of who I used to be.
Most of all Iím just sorry for being such an exhausting person. I know Iím tiring, I wear myself out too.
I need to figure out how you got so deep into my head leaving me unable to control my emotions and I need to get you out.
Please make this easy on me and just leave..