I hear him chuckle after my confession, not saying anything, just turning off the light.
“Lucien?” I can feel my mouth say it and recognise it’s my voice I hear, but I’m already halfway asleep and can’t control much of it.
“Hmm?” It’s dark, and even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t be able to see him because it’s impossible for me to keep my eyes open, but I swear he’s smiling.
I want to ask him to come into bed with me, to hold me and to fall asleep together. We don’t even have to do anything, I’d just kill to be a little spoon in his arms.
My mind isn’t that far into sleep state yet, though, and I’m able to stop myself before I say any of it out loud. In stead, I just hear myself sleepily mumble, “Night.”

It’s early when I wake up, really early, way before my alarm was supposed to wake me up.
It takes me a second to realise where I am, but I can’t help but smile when I figure it out.
The appartment is still silent, meaning Lucien is either still asleep or has already left for work. I can’t imagine that, though, because I feel like he would have woken me up.
I run into a first problem immediately: I have no clean clothes. It might be early, there’s no way for me to get to my appartment, take a shower there, have breakfast and still get to work on time.
I’ll get to the whole outfit issue when I get to it, for now all I want to do is get out of bed.
Yes, I want to be with Lucien most of all, but since I can’t do that, making coffee is my first priority.
      It’s past seven and still not a peep from Lucien’s bedroom. I’m already on my second cup of coffee when I decide to see if he hasn’t choked on his own saliva in his sleep.
I knock on his door, but there’s no answer. Definitely choked on his own saliva and has died, then.
Another knock, still no answer.
When I open the door slightly, the first thing I see is Lucien. He’s covered by most of his blankets, yes, but part of his chest is exposed and I can see it moving up and down - he’s breathing. Good.
I knock on the, now open, door once again, and slowly see movement from the bed. It’s slow, but after a while I see his head come up from the pillow, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he looks around trying to figure out where the noise came from.
“Emma?” his eyes are obviously still adjusting to the light as he sees me.
“Alarm clock broke?” I tease him, a cup of coffee in my hands.
I see him smile as he falls back into his pillows. “Funny.” He lays there, still, for a while, until he groans. “What time is it?”
I pretend to check my watch, even though he can’t see that, just to be funny. “Seven fifteen.”
“Awesome,” with obvious struggle, he gets himself out of bed.
I feel like an absolute creep for staring, but I can’t help it. I’m doing it discreetly, though, so he hopefully won’t notice I’m painting a mental picture of the things I could do to him right now.
“Did you sleep well?” he asks, walking over to his wardrobe, ruffling his hair and stretching. God, if only he knew what he was doing to me.
“Yeah, the bed’s great, slept like a baby.”
“Any more pink elephants?”
I look at him, confused, as he continues, “You told me you were dreaming of pink elephants last night.”
Of course I bloody did. I’m so glad he doesn’t know I meant him by that, or that I didn’t just blurt out I was dreaming of having sex with him on the same couch I took a nap on.
“Yeah, they’re in most of my dreams these days.”

I’m dressed in yesterday’s clothes, wearing some bits of yesterday’s makeup. No one will notice, but I’ll know.
We had breakfast together, tried talking about things other than work, and I couldn’t stop thinking about wanting to kiss him.
I have to stop doing this, it can’t be healthy.
Lucien and I take separate rides to work, because I’m too paranoid about people starting rumours.
I want them to at the same time, though. Maybe when people start whispering about how cute we are together, Lucien will agree.

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