21 | Kiss your best friend
Aziraphale wasn’t sure if he wanted to go to ‘their’ spot on his last day. He didn’t know if Crowley was going to be there, or even wanted to be there. Instead he was just doubting himself at the edge of the path leading away from the resort.
“Want to go for a walk?”
A sudden voice pulled him out of his thoughts and he looked up to see Crowley standing next to him. He didn’t look at Aziraphale, but at the path ahead of them instead.
“Yeah,” he answered quietly.
They walked in silence for a while and just followed the path. Crowley had pushed his hands into the pockets of his shorts and only looked at the ground. Aziraphale bit his bottom lip. The silence felt uncomfortable and he wanted to fill it with mindless chatter, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.
“So… a girlfriend,” Aziraphale mused quietly and without looking up. He was fretting with the hem of his shirt. “Didn’t know you... er-”
“I’m bisexual,” Crowley interrupted him. “That’s a thing, you know.”
“Couldn’t you tell me you had a girlfriend before I… before I embarrassed myself the other night?” Aziraphale suddenly cried out.
“Embarrassssed yourself?” Crowley hissed incredulous and they stopped walking. “Yes. No. ‘Course. You’re the one that embarrassed himself.”
Aziraphale huffed, but didn’t looked Crowley in the eye, or somewhere at his sunglasses as it were. Crowley stepped forward towards Aziraphale, his fists clenched next to his body and face unreadable because of his shades. Aziraphale stepped back, until his back hit the tree behind him and Crowley crowded against him. Both of his hands were firmly planted against the tree besides Aziraphale’s shoulders so he couldn’t move. This all happened within seconds and there was a slight panic in Aziraphale’s eyes, which Crowley failed to notice. It wasn’t like he would hurt him, Aziraphale knew that.
He had a hard time focusing on what was going on. Crowley was so close, he could feel his body heat through their clothes, with their lower bodies pressing together. It made him forget how to breath. He could see Crowley’s arms next to him, his biceps flexed and hands pushed against the tree. He had tiny, faded scars around the inside of his arm and a small bit of ink that peeked from under his sleeve on the inside of his bicep.
“Right, because I never tried to kiss my best friend and asked him to run away together,” he growled, pushing his body against the other.
Crowley looked like he was ready to pounce, but suddenly stepped backwards and dragged his hands over his face. Aziraphale caught a glimpse of amber coloured eyes that seemed more tired than he had ever seen them before. Aziraphale glanced around them, making sure there was no one around who could’ve seen what just happened.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” he apologised immediately.
“I’m sorry too,” Aziraphale said quietly. “For what I just said and for the last time. I can’t- it’s just...”
He paused and sighed, not knowing what his point was and what he wanted to say. It wasn’t something that happened often for him. It was like he wanted to tell the man everything he had been feeling for the past years, his fears of his family finding out, his resolve to just live his life alone and how Crowley made him feel like he didn’t want to be alone anymore.
It also made him realise that Crowley wouldn’t feel the same. However he felt about Aziraphale all these years ago, that must’ve changed. Crowley now had a gorgeous American girlfriend, all fashionable and skinny, while Aziraphale gained a bit of weight and got even more bookish with no sense of style. He could never be the type of handsome men like Crowley.
“Wanna check and see if our spot is still here?” Crowley asked and Aziraphale nodded thankful changing the subject. “I hope we don’t get lost.”
Aziraphale chuckled nervously. He hadn’t been since the last time he met Crowley there. He was certainly tempted to go back, but he didn’t want to revisit all the memories attached to the place.
“I have a perfectly good sense of direction,” he answered as they left the path. “And you probably have a mobile phone that can Google us back to the resort.”
Crowley snorted. “Google us back? Do you even have a smartphone?”
Aziraphale hesitated. “Well, yes, in fact I do,” he answered primly. “Uriel gave me one for my birthday. I just always forget to charge it and bring it with me.”
Aziraphale knew he was pouting. Most people had an instant judgement ready when he said that he didn’t use a mobile, but Crowley just shrugged like it was the most normal thing in the world. Even though he just made fun of his use of Google, it felt playful and not mean.
“Are you and Sandy ok?” he asked carefully.
“Yeah. Of course. She er- was just in a mood for a bit. Jetlag does that to her, she’s fine now.”
“Oh, good,” Aziraphale said relieved. “We should meet for dinner sometimes when you’re both in London, I would love to get to know her better.”
They almost arrived at their spot when they both heard voices. Aziraphale looked at Crowley, who smirked and put his finger to his lips to gesture him to stay silent. Aziraphale nodded and followed Crowley, who was walking slowly towards the clearing.
Aziraphale walked behind him and couldn’t help but look at the way Crowley moved. The slow sway of his hips, his long legs and the curve of his arse that only just showed in his shorts that were a little too loose for Aziraphale’s liking. His shirt was rucked up a bit in the back and showed the tiniest hint of his back.
It was like a forbidden fruit. He knew he couldn’t have it, but it didn’t stop him from wanting it, looking at at, fantasising about it . Ever since he saw Crowley in that yoga class, he couldn’t stop thinking about certain things and crowding him against a tree just moments before this certainly did not help at all.
Aziraphale got pulled back into reality when Crowley gestured at him to crouch down next to him. They both looked into the clearing and saw two young people who were obviously a couple, a giggling young woman and an besotted young man who were just starting a snogging session that seemed a little inappropriate to be taking place outside.
Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each and Aziraphale slapped his hand in front of his mouth to stifle a laugh. They both got up and walked away as quietly as they could and started running a bit farther away when they couldn’t hold their laughing in anymore.
“I guess it’s not our spot anymore,” Crowley grinned when he had catched his breath.
“It’s time to hand it to the new generation,” Aziraphale declared noble, which made Crowley just burst out laughing again.