090 - Emma
Usually I wouldn't want to be caught dead in a crowd like that, and I would definitely say no to an invitation like this. Spending all night with rich, entitled people? No thank you.
But now, I'm super tempted to just say yes, even if it's just so I can secretly kiss Lucien for New Year's. It might be in a corner of the room, making sure we're not on any camera, but I'll still be with him.
"I guess Kenna's party will have to miss me, then," I smile, grabbing his hand in mine. I fiddle with his fingers for a bit, not making any eye contact. "Because I'd love to be there, too."
That's the words he used. I would love for you to come along with me. He didn't say he loves me, obviously, but it's slightly more emotional than I enjoy your company.
We're still snuggled on my couch, so it's easy for me to kiss him, and I use that opportunity to do exactly that.
The couch is tiny compared to Lucien's, so we have to squeeze together to make sure we won't fall off, but that only adds to the experience.
He's holding on to me for dear life, partly to ensure I won't fall off the couch and probably partly just to hold me close to him, and I'm holding on to him for the same reasons.
My leg is draped around him and just from how close we are I can feel his heartbeat speeding up the more our hands start to roam.
It's different than his appartment in here, it surely is. There's more colour, there's plants everywhere and also definitely more mess all over the place, but it's nice to be here. It's a change in environment, which also makes for a change of mind, I guess.
Being in his appartment only made me feel more secretive. Like I was just there when he wanted me to be, especially with the high tec security at his front door.
Here, he's allowed in whenever I invite him. I'm the one in charge, and I want him to be here. It's a nice feeling.
"No matter how much I like being at your place," Lucien speaks as we've interrupted our kiss for a small breathing break, "I don't think I can lay in this exact position for any longer, because I think my leg is going to actually fall off."
We're pretty cramped, it's true, and most of my weight is on one of his legs to make sure I don't drop off the couch in the midst of our make-out.
I smile, shifting the weight so he can finally breathe again. "I'm sorry I don't own a comfortable designer couch, Lucien," I lean closer to him, "is there somewhere else you'd rather be, right now?"
"Honestly," I can feel his breath on my face, both of us not going in for the kiss because we know we'll be cramping up in no time, "anywhere but here would be great. What's your bed like?"
My bed turns out to be to Lucien's liking. We fall asleep about two hours later, covered in my floral bedding.
It's nice having him at my place, because finally this place feels like it's part of my actual life now. Before, I'd only be here before and after work, or if I had nowhere else to go. Inviting Lucien here made it feel more like a home.
It has also made me realise how much I enjoy Lucien being in my life. That damn wall might crumble before I want it to, because I'm looking at him fast asleep at seven in the morning while I've been wide awake for a while.
It's still pitch black in the room, considering it's december, but I can slightly make out the shapes of his face in the dark.
The way he breathes in and out in his sleep and the way he agressively turns around make me smile.
I fall asleep every once in a while, but they're not deep sleeps and everytime I wake up Lucien is still fast asleep.
Around eight I decide to get up, because even though I love staring at Lucien whilst he's sleeping, I should probably just start my day.
I make myself some eggs, the last two out of the carton, and brew some coffee.
Kenna's also wide awake already, because she's texting me about New Years.
I tell her I won't be attending the party she's invited me to, because I've had a work invite. It still really sucks I'm not able to tell her about me and Lucien, but it's necessary to keep this all on the down-low. As soon as we tell too many people, the entire world will know. Not because Kenna will tell everyone, but just because she'll tell one singular person, who will tell other people, and before you know it all of Edinburgh will know. I decide, right then and there, that I will tell her as soon as Lucien and I put a label on it. Until then, we're still undefined and we're not even really dating, so there's nothing to tell.
My eggs taste absolutely horrible, causing me to throw them out after about half of my breakfast, and I'm out on the tiny balcony for a smoke when I hear Lucien stumbling into the living room.
I immediately put out the cigarette and walk back inside. "Good morning, sunshine," I smile, taking him in. He's in just his underwear, which he must have fished from the floor in an attempt to get slightly dressed, and he's looking sleepy.
"Morning," he's rubbing his eyes, "bathroom?"
I point him to the door in the corner of the hallway. "Take your time, there's coffee ready when you are."
Before walking to the bathroom, he walks over to me, pecking me on the lips. I've heard of people not wanting to kiss their partner before they've brushed their teeth, but I really do not care.
As he heads off into my tiny bathroom, I pour myself another cup of coffee.
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