Foto bij 160 - Emma

Hearing Lucien talk about his past makes me happy. Just to see his face change as he tells me little things, but also because I get to learn new things about him I didn't know before.
"My parents have a piano in their house, too, but I was always too impatient to learn," I smile, returning to the conversation we were just having after a bit of very comfortable silence. "Louis was good at it, though, and I think my dad can play too, but I can't say I've seen him do it as far as I can remember."
I look up at Lucien, seeing him with a sentimental but happy smile on his face.
"Maybe you can teach me one day."
"Do you have the patience now?" he teases, twirling a single curl around his finger, "because if not, I think I must pass."
"I think so," I roll my eyes at him, but lovingly, "I'll at least try my best if that means you'll teach me."
I can imagine the two of us at my parents' house, behind the very old piano stuffed away beside the bookshelf in their living room, him trying to teach me certain notes. Mum in the kitchen, dad smoking a cigar outside with Charles as my younger siblings wander around the house, wondering when dinner is going to be ready and if Lucien could possibly help them out with their instagram following.
It's a happy thought. Our worlds might be very different, I think he'd fit into mine perfectly. Mum would love him, there's no doubt about it. He's genuine and kind, has perfect French manners and is a true gentleman. Dad's happy as long as I'm taken care of, probably glad I'm bringing home a nice bloke who makes money. I already know Charles likes him, and I'm sure so would my other siblings, even if it's just because Lucien is cool.
Louis would have loved him, too. They have the same kind of humour, the same way of interacting with other people. Kind, with a special charm about them.
"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks me once again, tapping my nose softly. We've both been quiet for a while, so it's a perfect way to return to conversation.
"I was thinking about you meeting my family," I confess, "and how much I think they'd like you." It's weird, I immediately realise, because I've already met all of Lucien's close family. His father, in the least fortunate way, and his sister, also not quite fortunate.
"You think so?" I'm not sure if he's actually surprised or if he just needs the emotional confirmation, but I decide he deserves it anyway.
"Definitely. Mum's going to love you, especially if you compliment her cooking the way you compliment mine. She's a total sweetheart, so she'll probably like you more than she likes me in no time." I enjoy Lucien's embrace as he listens to me talk, softly tightening a little bit unconciously every once in a while, "You've already got Charles wrapped around your finger, so that's easy. Daniel will probably pretend he doesn't like you but just because he feels like that's what's cool, so he'll turn around in no time. And Beth and Phoebe will love you, even if it's just because they'll secretly be in love with you too, or for your following. Then dad... he's a tough one, but...," I smile at him. "I think you're quite familiar with hard to handle dads by now."
      There's still music playing in the background but we've laid down on the couch, Lucien's body aching too much to stand. His couch is so much nicer than mine, even though I'd never admit to it to his face.
It's nice to be at his place for a change, even though it feels less.. cosy than mine. It's more clean, less personal, just all bigger and more modern. Very Lucien, probably.
"So, I feel like it's time to let you in on a secret," I'm laying on his chest, careful not to put too much pressure on him as he's playing with my hair. He looks at me with curiousity in his eyes.
I feel like, especially now that we're apparently opening up to each other more and more, it's time for me to share this. I don't know why I never have before, especially because it's not a weird thing for me to talk about. I talk to my clients about it all the time, preach the usefullness of it, yet I'm scared to admit to my boyfriend that I, too, am an avid user.
"Those secret meetings and appointments I've been going to?" His fingers stop dead in their tracks for a minute, as if I'm about to admit that I've been cheating on him with three other men, looking at me impatiently.
"I've been seeing a therapist," I've already told a bunch of other people this, but I still feel weird enclosing this information to Lucien, "frequently, ever since the whole Callum thing, but I wasn't a stranger before then either. She's been.. helping me, figure out why I do the things I do and why I'm still... well, the way I am, about certain things." Certain things like how terrified I am that Lucien will up and leave when he meets some tiny blonde, even though I know he isn't even into blondes. "And it's been really good. I've figured out a lot about myself with her help. I even realised how in love with you I was before I was willing to admit it to myself, and why I acted the way I did when I thought I was...," maybe the next step is her helping me to be able to say this word without hesitating, 'pregnant. She's just really helped me be a better person in some ways, and I really feel like it's helped me. Maybe...," I hesitate to say this, just because I have no clue how he'll take it, "you could go with me one day."

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