442 - Emma
I've seen many faces to Charles Middleton, but this one is new. The rage is an old one, and so is the sarcastic smirk he's shown a few times tonight.
It's a mixture of many emotions, not even coming close to something I've ever sene before.
When we were alone, I was too mad at him to even talk to him. The way he went off on Lucien, no regard for anyone's wellbeing, it caused me to not even be able to look at him.
Now, though, I see a little boy. Not sure what to do with himself after falling back into old behaviour. Of attacking before someone else can attack you, showing your tough side before anyone can suspect you're vulnerable.
Only now I realise I've been crying, tears coming down my face slowly but surely.
"Charlie," I let out after Lucien is done speaking, "Luce..."
Both men look at me. Lucien looks tired, fed up with fighting. Charles looks about the same, having let go of this big bad wolf persona.
"Can we please...," my voice breaks as I'm trying very hard not to seem like some kind of damsel in distress. "Stop being hostile? I understand, Charles. I know you're mad at him for breaking my heart, and that you think I'm stupid for going back to him. But it's not like all has been forgotten. We've talked about it, we're working on it, we're communicating. I understand that it won't be easy for you to forgive him, because you saw how broken I was when he just left, you saw me at my lowest, barely eating and just staring into thin air for hours, tired of crying. But..." For the first time tonight, I confidently grab Lucien's hand, mine still shaking. "I love Lucien. I want to be with him, for however long that may be. I'm done fighting. You can either... accept that, or you can decide not to and leave. I'd hate that, because I love you. You're my brother, and you hold a very significant place in my heart, but so does Lucien, and I refuse to give that up because you're holding grudges."
I watch him crumble, letting go of that last sliver of tough and unbreakable, his hands tightly on his knees as he nods.
"I just don't want you to get hurt," he mumbles, almost afraid to look me in the eye. "You're my little sister, and I can't see you like that again. I..." his eyes wander off and his sentence dies down. Selene reaches for him, pressing a kiss against his flannel covered shoulder.
"I want to apologise," he blurts out, looking up now. He looks at me, first. "To you, at least. For... questioning you. I truly believe that you love him, and that you're doing what feels right to you. And for calling you abusive, Lucien," for what feels like the first time tonight, the two men look each other in the eye. "I didn't mean that. It was a low blow, and I know you'd never intentionally hurt my sister. I'm just... well, I don't trust you, not after seeing Emma like that. And I know it's not my trust you're supposed to be winning back, but... well, I just don't trust you, not yet."
"And I understand that," Lucien nods. The anger in his voice seems gone, though I don't doubt he'd still like to punch a wall to get it out of his system. "Like I said, I have a sister. I was wrong, what I did to Emma was wrong, and I didn't treat her the way she deserves to be treated. I know that now, and I want to change that. Because I love her, and I'll work hard to earn back that trust."
It's weird, hearing these things said out loud, because we've never spoken about it to this extent.
There's a quiet in the room, the violent storm has laid down and we're all catching our breath.
"So....," Selene chimes in. "How about that dessert?"
When we finally get back to my appartment, after a car ride in total silence, I feel like we have to do some talking of our own.
"I'm sorry," I let him know as soon as we've both taken off our shoes and wander into the living room.
"It's... well, it's not your fault. There's no need to apologise."
"I'm still sorry," I shrug, watching him turn around and shoot me a weak smile. "For how it all went. I should've..."
"There's nothing you could've done. We're both adults, and how this conversation went is on us. What matters is that we're on semi-speaking terms now."
He wraps his arms around me, kissing the top of my head, and I know things are alright. They might not be easy, but in our life, they probably never will be. There will be obstacles along the way, and there will always be people disagreeing.
If anything, this has made me even more sure about wanting to move in with Lucien. To find a place together, spend every possible moment with him.
We snuggle up on the couch together, Frank immediately taking up his spot on Lucien's lap. With a glass of wine and some chocolates we watch Bones, which sends shivers down my spine sometimes, which in turn makes Lucien laugh every time.
"I'm sorry to hear about your brother," I mumble, being reminded of his comment as there's an entire scene on siblings. "I know you probably had your reasons to keep it from me, but... well, I'm sorry. It... saying 'it sucks' doesn't feel fitting when it comes to this, but I'm not sure what else to say."
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