I finish the glass of water, only because Lucien kindly asked me so and I saw the worry in his eyes when he did, but I really shouldn't have.
Luckily, he's left the door to the bathroom open as he's showering, because it's the one with the most pleasant toilet to throw up in.
The water immediately stops running, and Lucien comes walking around the corner, hair dripping wet and that same worried look on his face.
"Fucking water," I spit out the last bit of bile from my mouth, flushing the toilet. "All of my lunch came out with it."
He's got an eyebrow raised, as if to question what all of my lunch entails, though he doesn't speak the question.
"Rice cracker with mushed up avocado and half a banana," I shrug. "Not much, but it's something. Not that it matters anyway, because it's all down the toilet now."
There's so much Lucien could say, that he probably wants to say, but he also knows there's nothing that will help. In stead, with an inviting gesture, he steps back into the shower area, and I hear the water turn back on.
After having been on the couch in the same position for hours on end, I could use a shower, so I shed the small amount of clothing I've been wearing and step under the running water with him, nuzzling myself against his side as he washes his hair with the most scent-free shampoo we have.
The warm water relaxes my muscles a little, my entire body tense from all of the puking.
"Hey," he smiles as he turns to me. "This is new."
His hand trails across my stomach, smiling. I'm not sure if the grow spurt has already happened or that the bump has just become more visible from my lack of nutrition, but he's right. The outline of a belly that houses a baby are starting to show, and I can feel it every time when I clutch my stomach. Frank has made it his favourite place to lay, and running my fingers across it has become my favourite thing to do.
"Sure is," I enjoy his hand on my skin, feeling his touch calming my racing heart slightly. "She's slowly growing in there."
What I told Lucien before is true - with everything going on, I don't have a gut feeling as to what this baby is going to be. But when he told me she was a girl, I wanted to believe it, so that's what I did.
"It really happened over night, huh?" he says, a tone of disbelief. "Not long until you're going to show."
"I'll just wear big shirts and dresses until we're ready for people to know," I mumble. "Until then, she's just our little secret. Well, ours and our family and friends', that is."

We watch Friends all night, which is a change from our usual Bake Off marathon, but the sight of all of those sweet foods really doesn't sit well with me, so Lucien has carefully picked out episodes that don't contain too much eating. Frank is pressed up against me whilst I'm cuddled up in Lucien's arms. One of his hands is pressed against my stomach, sharing the spot with a purring cat.
A tall glass of water stands in front of me on the table, and I've been taking small sips every few minutes, which means my stomach feels like an ocean and I shouldn't twist or turn too much, because it will cause another run to the bathroom.
"Lucien?" I ask, not turning my head to look at him, afraid of another wave of nausea.
"Emma?" his other hand massages my head, something I've been loving even more now, as if I've gotten extra nerve endings when I got pregnant.
"I know this is a sensitive subject," his hand tenses up immediately, as if he's afraid of what's to come. "But are you going to tell Brie? I mean, before he hears from someone else, or through social media or gossip sites?"
No reply, though I can almost hear his brain trying to come up with something to say that is a good enough reason for him not to do it.
"I'm not reaching out," he then groans, like an angry child. "He's the one that messed up, he's the one that should fix it."
I chuckle, which is a move that immediately triggers my gag reflex, though I manage to surpress it for now. "Are you twelve?"
"Em, it's just not that easy," he sighs, his fingers stopped dead in their tracks.
"Oh, but it is," I reply. "He's your best friend, and knowing him, he's really, really sorry. He's probably just afraid of how you'll react, because he knows you better than anyone else."
"Did Matt put you up to this?" he asks with suspicion.
"No," I shake my head, putting more pressure on my stomach, which turns once again. "But the fact that you think he did tells me that he's talked to you about this, too, and he's probably said the same thing."
A loud sigh from Lucien, signalling me that I am, in fact, right.
"Okay," I exclaim, reaching over to grab his phone from the coffee table. "That's it."
I unlock his phone and select Brie's contact info, using Facetime to call him before handing the phone to him on the first ring.
"Em, I don't...," he sighs, but I shake my head viciously, the last straw for my stomach but the only right answer to Lucien's stubbornness.
"You are going to talk to him like the adult you are," I tell him, squeezing my thumb in my hand hard to stop myself from puking right here and right now. "Whilst I go use the bathroom."
      It's all just a little too much. The sickness, the constant fatigue, the drowsy head and the forgetfulness. Combined with having to miss Lucien, and dealing with work and other things like a cat, I feel overwhelmed.
It's hard enough to get my body off of the bathroom floor after what feels like half an hour of sitting there, and when I do, I feel like all the blood rushes to places it shouldn't be and my vision goes black.

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