586 - Emma
I hate needles, I hate strange hands touching me, and I definitely hate feeling weak and fragile, so you could say today isn't my favourite day.
The only good thing is that whatever medication they've given me seems to work pretty much immediately, and for the first time in what feels like ages I don't feel like I have to topple over to puke my guts out.
I hate the waiting around for nothing, laying and staring at the ceiling, but at least Lucien is here with me.
"You really hate it here more than I do, don't you?" I smile, giving his hand a little squeeze.
"Not a fan of hospitals," he shrugs, and though I can sense there's more to the statement than just a dislike of the medical field, I let it go. I'm too tired to ask.
All throughout the night, I sleep in small fragments. Fifteen minutes to half an hour at most at a time, until I wake up again. Lucien doesn't seem like he gets much sleep at all, but that's another thing I don't mention.
"How are you feeling?" he asks me gently when I wake up from another short lived nap, my mouth feeling less dry than the last time I woke up.
"Alright," I mumble. "Not my best, but better than I did before. That IV is really doing its job."
"No nausea?" his hand finds mine just like every time it has done when I was awake.
"A little," I shrug lightly, moving a hand through my knotted hair. "But nothing compared to what it used to be like."
"That's good to hear!" It isn't Lucien replying, but my ever so friendly nurse Maddy. "Looks like there's some colour back into your cheeks as well, all good signs!"
"Don't lie to me, Maddy," I smile, "I'm very well aware I'm still very pale."
"Such is the curse of the Scottish, isn't it?" she chuckles. "If you're up for it, I'd like to take you with me. We want to weigh you, and it looks like some daylight and outside air will do you good."
I immediately look over to Lucien in some kind of reflex.
"You're more than welcome to join, of course," she seems to notice my glance and smiles. "I'm sure you could also use some fresh air."
Maddy confirms what they already expected - I'm lighter than would be ideal for a woman in my position, but my blood tests all came back pretty good, so they don't see any reason for a panic.
I get some kind of lecture about how if I ever show any of these symptoms again, I shouldn't wait a second and call immediately. They'll have me for just one more night, to be sure, and if nothing weird happens, I'll be dismissed first thing tomorrow morning.
After, we get to go outside. The weather is chilly, which means we don't take a long walk, in stead just enjoy some of the sparce sunlight.
I feel like an absolute mess, both Lucien's and Maddy's eyes on me at all time, worried I'm going to collapse any minute. For once, I don't blame them, because although I feel stronger than I did yesterday, I'm still very much aware of how weak I feel.
Apparently, Lucien has called my mother. Part of me is mad at him for worrying her, but the other part is glad she's here, because I could really use some motherly advice right now.
She tries not to show her worry when she comes into the room, though I know her well enough to see every twitch in her face when she looks at me.
"Oh, Linie," she breathes. "My goodness, angel, why didn't you tell me?"
Lucien leaves some space for her so she can sit next to me, and she immediately holds my hand.
"I thought it would all just blow over," I tell her, which makes her smile. "But it didn't."
"I would have come over immediately," she continues, "especially when Lucien was away," she looks at Lucien to assure him she means no harm. "That's what I'm here for, Linie. Just because you're a mother now, too, doesn't mean you don't need your own anymore."
A tear rolls down my cheek, her motherly hands immediately wiping it away. "Sorry, mum."
"Oh, there's nothing to be sorry about. It's all alright now, isn't it?" she smiles. "Are you feeling better?"
"The IV really helped," I nod, "and I've been given some more meds. It just sucks that I couldn't do it on my own.."
"Linie," she sounds stern. "No one can. Everyone needs help, whether it be from people or the medical staff."
"I guess so," I breathe. "I'm just happy I'll get to go home tomorrow."
"Have they cleared you entirely?" she asks, looking at Lucien, too, because she probably knows my clouded pregnancy brain might not remember everything they told me. I nod at him to tell her.
"Blood work is all clear, and unless something changes, we'll be dismissed tomorrow."
"Ultrasound didn't show any changes?"
"We didn't get one," I shrug. "They wanted to do one at first, but after the blood work came back and the nausea disappeared, they figured..."
"Oh, they figured, huh?" Mum gets that look on her face I recognise from other times she was about to get defensive. When I got detention for punching Beth's bully, when Charles got dumped by his ex-fiancé, when Daniel got told he wasn't sick when actually he had a severe case of appendicitis. "Lucien, will you please get me Emma's nurse?"
"Mum, it's alright, they're medical staff, they know what they're doing."
"And I'm your mother, Emmeline," she tells me. "I've given birth to six children, and I'm not going to let them dismiss you without an ultrasound."
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