706 - Emma
I'm taken aback at first, almost about to apologise, to take it all back just to make sure this fight doesn't escalate. We've fought before, but this has reached incredible levels that almost mimic that one time we broke up.
Then, anger takes over, desperation no longer taking control of my body.
I was vulnerable before, showing him that I loved him, even if he needed to get this whole thing with Piper out of his system. If he needed to get her out of his system. Now, all I feel is rage. About the way he's painting me to be the bad guy here, when all I do is let him roam free, let him do whatever he wants, even if that's with a girl I don't trust for good reason.
"You know what?" I spit at him. "Fuck you, Lucien! Fuck you and your fake apologies! I told you how she made me insecure, how I don't trust her, and you go and have a movie night with her - that's fine, that's alright, you do you! But then not only do you let her snuggle up to you like she's about to fucking ride you, you allow her to post that picture to social media, knowing that means people can see it? People including me? Her fucking vagina was almost on your crotch, dude! I literally got a message asking if we'd broken up because they saw you on some other girl's story!"
I take a deep breath in, my hands now shaking as I have trouble looking at him. I can't do it, because I'd see a sight of him I don't want to see, just like he'd see a side of me he'd hate.
"I'm throwing you a fucking bone here!" My voice trembles as I start up another sentence. "Fuck her! Go over there and wear her out like she's been practically begging you to do, Lucien, even though you've apparently not been seeing it at all! I'll take you back in a heartbeat because I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone, you asshole! Because you could do anything and I'd still welcome you with open arms, because you're the one for me and I couldn't stand to lose you! But don't sit here and look at me with that little glimmer of resentment whenever I get upset when she texts you, don't lie to me and tell me there's nothing going on! Everything is going on, Lucien, even if you're too blind to notice it. Yeah, maybe you're not actively flirting with her, but you're letting her do it! You're letting her rub upon you, you're letting her call you boo twelve fucking times a minute!"
There's tears clouding my vision right now and I'm having trouble breathing, the only thing I'm feeling right now being resentment.
My heart is pounding out of my chest and the only thing I can think is I have to get out of the house, I can't stay here.
"I...," the simple word gets caught in my throat, and I almost choke on it. "I'm going to leave, because we're not going to fix this, not today. Just don't..." Some twisted form of laughter gets stuck somewhere, only coming out hoarse. "don't fuck her in our bed."
With a bag filled with only the bare necessities and a carrier that holds a screaming black and white cat, I'm out on the Edinburgh streets. It's freezing cold out and through tearfilled eyes I couldn't find my winter coat, leaving me almost frozen after only five minutes of walking.
At first, I consider going to Kenna's. She'd understand, she'd give me tea whilst Emilia showed me all of her stuffed animals and Felix played with my hair.
Then again, she already has enough to deal with, with two children under the age of two.
I can't go see Charles, because this whole situation would cause him to start another campain about how terrible Lucien is, even after how friendly they've gotten over the past few months, which means Selene is also not an option considering the two now practically live together.
That also rules out my parents, because they would get way too worried about me.
His address is already in the cab driver's system before I can doubt the decision, Frank screaming at me from his spot next to me. More snow slowly falls down as we drive down narrow Edinburgh streets, my mind racing.
Was this fight the start of the end? How long will it take for us to break up after this? Have I been a total idiot, truly misinterpreting all of the signs?
Brie hands me a cup of tea as I'm on his couch, still shivering from the cold. Frank has been released from his prison, running around the appartment he's been in twice before, smelling all of the furniture once again.
I'm covered in a blanket as Gabriel paces through the room, only shooting sideway glances at me.
"So... all of this was about Piper?" he scoffs. "What did he do?"
"He...," I breathe in between sobs. "She's just so into him, and he refuses to see. And even though I've told him about the way she makes me feel, he continues to see her, and she enjoys it... Posts pictures of her..." I hold out my phone, showing him the picture that's been circulating. In small circles, and not yet having reached mainstream media, but circulating none the less.
"He...." Now he's the one lost for words. "Is this the first big fight you guys have had?"
I blink twice, maybe three times, to look at him directly. "No.. we had that one big fight, the night he showed up five hours late because he was with her. He called you, remember?"
Brie looks at me blankly. "Lucien hasn't called me in forever, Em."
My heart drops. "Maybe Matt... then," I try, and even though Brie is supposed to reassure me, he shakes his head.
"Matt would've told me. We may have broken up, he still tells me everything."
My head ends up in my hands, the sobs now uncontrollable as Frank sniffs my hair, filled with salty tears.
Er zijn nog geen reacties.