Family. • Evan Buckley + Eddie Diaz |
The moment Buck saw Abby again, his heart broke. Especially after he heard the news. The news that his ex girlfriend had a fiancé now.
He couldn't think about it too much. Because he had to save the man himself in the top of a train. It was the weirdest situation ever, but Buck had to be serious. He desperately needed to save those people. No matter who they were.
But afterwards, when they finished the rescue mission, he felt more lonely than ever. He went home after his shift, but it didn't feel like home right now. It felt cold and boring. It felt like nobody ever lived here. And if he was entirely honest, he just wanted to be with Eddie and Christopher right now. He felt good and loved around them. It felt like he mattered with them. And he didn't have that with Abby for a very long time.
He decided to call his co-worker and best friend.
“Hey Buck.” Eddies voice sounded on the other side of the phone.
“Hey Eddie.” he said, a weak smiled formed around his lips.
“Are you okay? You sound.. tired. Or is it about Abby..”
“I, uh, I don't know what to do with myself right now.” he explained, trying not to be ashamed of himself. He didn't want to ask his friend for help, he didn't want to be fragile around him.
“You can spend the evening with us, Buck, don't worry. You can even sleep here if you want. You want that?” Eddie asked.
Buck heard him walking around, whispering to Christopher.
“If that's okay with you.” he mumbled.
“Christopher wants you to come, so you better come.” he laughed.
“Alright, see you in twenty minutes then.” Buck laughed and hung up after they said their goodbyes.
He decided to take a shower and put on some fresh clothes instead of the sweaty pants and shirt he was wearing now. He didn't want to look like he didn't shower for a week, although Eddie knew all about that feeling. Coming home from work, you mostly just wanted to get some sleep.
He put on his white blouse and his favorite pair of jeans. He grabbed his jacket and his phone before he went off to Eddie.
The way down there was long. Longer than normal, that was. He was thinking a lot. About his feelings for Abby and also the way he felt about Eddie.
Eddie became so close to him and sometimes it felt like they were more than just friends. But Buck never dared to ask him about it. He was afraid to fuck it up badly and besides that, he wasn't entirely over Abby either. But now that she was out of the way, almost out of his mind, he wanted to move on and find a new chick. Or a dude for that matter.
For him, it didn't really matter. He just wanted to be loved.
Although it was a short ride to Eddie, when he finally arrived he was so tired. His head was playing so many games with him.
He parked his car and walked up to the door, which immediately opened as soon as he wanted to knock.
Christopher was standing in front of him, his arms wide open.
“Hey buddy!” Buck said happily. He really loved the little man.
He lifted him up and gave him a big hug. In front of him he saw Eddie. He had his usual smile on his face. And just for fun, he decided to not wear a shirt.
Well, for fun? Buck couldn't stop staring and that felt really weird with Christopher in his arms.
He put the little man down and walked up to Eddie to give him a hug.
“You okay?” Eddie asked.
Eddie sighed and pointed to the couch.
“I'll make sure Chris can play some game so we can talk alright.” he said, before he took Christopher away. Buck looked around and then decided to just sit down.
He intertwined his fingers and kept moving them. He was so nervous.
It took Eddie five minutes to come back. And in those five minutes Buck had counted all the pictures on the wall about a hundred times.
“So, Abby..” Eddie said, as he sat down. He sat sideways on the couch so he could look at Buck.
“Do you hate her?” he asked.
Buck shook his head.
“You mad at her, Buck?” he then asked.
“Ofcourse I am.” he then said. He was furious. “Ofcourse I am mad at her. She left me like this. She left me to find herself and apparently another person. Another man to marry. And she expects me just to move on like that. She changed my whole life in a way. And now she's changing it again.”
Eddie didn't say anything, just put his hand on Bucks arm. Buck slowly looked up.
“I want to move on, Eddie.” he sighed.
“I know you want to.” Eddie said slowly, trying to find the right words to say. “And I know you can. You have a whole life ahead you. You have a big family around you who want to be best for you. You are gonna be just fine.”
“I feel so lonely.” Buck whispered. He broke a little, letting some tears leave his eyes.
“You are not lonely, Buck. You have me.”
“And you have Christopher and your family.. and you're gonna find a beautiful woman to marry someday. Someone who loves Chris and you.” Buck rambled. For some reason this only hurt him more. How could he ever expect someone like Eddie to like him back. He himself wasn't even sure he liked Eddie more than that.
“I don't want a beautiful woman to marry me.” Eddie said softly, as he lifted Bucks face. “And besides, Christopher already has someone he really loves.”
Buck stared at Eddies beautiful, brown eyes.
“Are you?” Buck cleared his throat. “Are you suggesting..”
He didn't even need to finish his sentence. Before he could say anything, Eddie already gently placed his lips on Bucks. A sigh of relief and a bit of shock followed, before he kissed his best friend back.
His hands, who were still intertwined, fell apart as Eddie grabbed one of them and hold it close to his heart.
Whatever happened in that moment, it made Buck cry. So Eddie quickly stopped the kiss and pulled him closer. Buck cried. He cried hard into Eddies bare chest.
“Hey, it's okay. You're gonna be fine.” Eddie whispered.
“My head is a mess, Eddie. My whole life is a mess.”
“Shut up, Buck. Please. Do I need to kiss you again to make you realise how much I love you?”
“You gonna get mad at me for this?” Buck laughed through his tears. “I've never done this.. or whatever it is.”
“With a man?” Eddie asked. Buck shrugged.
“Well, me neither. If you wanna do this and Abby is gone forever, then we can do this on our own terms. We can go as slow as you want it to go.”
“I just want to be happy. And I feel like I can be happy with you next to me.”
Eddie smiled softly and nodded.
“Me too, Buck.”
“We are gonna be okay, you know.” Eddie then said.
“Don't you think Christopher is gonna think it's weird?” Buck asked nervously.
“Man, he always asks about you. Sometimes he talks more about you than about his own dad. You know the time you saved him..”
“I'd rather not be reminded, but yes.”
“Well, he keeps saying how happy he is with you. In his own words ofcourse.” he explained.
Eddie intertwined his fingers with Bucks and looked at him.
“You wanna go play some games with him?” Eddie asked, not being able to stop staring into Bucks blue eyes.
“Yeah, yeah. But just...” Buck put up two fingers. “Two more seconds, okay.”
He leaned over and kissed Eddie again. It felt like nothing he had ever felt before. It felt better.
“We..” Eddie started to say.
“Are gonna be okay.” Buck said happily against his lips.
“Yeah..” Eddie sighed, caressing his lip with his thumb and staring into his eyes.
“We are gonna be just fine.”