Benefits. • Simon Kjær + Thomas Delaney | 18+
Simon Kjær knew how to party. Usually he was a reserved, chilled out guy. But going to a club with Simon was something else. He became a whole other person. And for Thomas Delaney that was pleasure. He liked the Simon who was down to earth.
But he much rather wanted Simon after a party. He would get so dominant over him and Thomas liked that a lot. He wanted Simon to tower over him and tell him he was a bad boy.
And if he was honest, he wished Simon would do that every day.
But unfortunately for Thomas, that wasn't the case. He had quickly realised he had feelings for the blonde haired, tattooed friend. But he also knew it wasn't the same for Simon. Or he atleast expected that to be.
Simon had made clear multiple times that all they were was friends with benefits. And Thomas never really understood why. They had fun together, the sex was great and Thomas cared for Simon like no one else. But it still wasn't enough for Simon.
Thomas thought that maybe he was scared to be seen with another guy. But Thomas was willing to keep it a secret, if that needed to be done.
Still, Simon never gave in. And that night in the club, it got even worse.
Simon and Thomas were invited by their friend Mathias Jensen to join them for a night out. He had told Simon that his girlfriend Esmée Winchester would come too and that she would bring two friends. And Simon and Thomas had both agreed to it. But there was something inside of Thomas that told him this wouldn't gonna go well.
Simon was an easy flirt with the girls. Everybody seemed to like him. Which was logical. He was tall, blonde, blue eyed and super sweet to everybody he met. Girls simply fell for him. But Thomas did too and he hated it by now.
Thomas and Simon had arrived quite late. Mathias and the three girls were already there and Thomas immediately recognised Esmée. It had been a while since they last saw eachother, but he was happy she and Mathias were still happily together. They looked great.
“Hey Thomas!” Esmée said happily, standing up and giving him a big hug. He embraced her, realising once again how tall she was. Until he noticed the heels she was wearing.
“Hey.” he said softly. Esmée gave him a little kiss on the cheek, before she went over to hug Simon.
Thomas looked at them and bit his lip. The smile on Simon on his face, made Thomas his heart beat faster. And he didn't want that.
Mathias stood up and got him out of his thoughts. He hugged Thomas quickly.
“You're staring, mate.” he laughed.
Thomas blinked a few times. Mathias was the only one who knew about them. Well, him and Esmée ofcourse. And Mathias had told him multiple times to just confess his feelings. But Thomas couldn't. He didn't want to stop what was happening. He didn't want to lose Simon.
Mathias turned him around to the two other girls.
“This is Lieke.” Mathias introduced them, as he showed the brown haired smaller girl. “And Gabriëla. But we call her Gab, because her name is a pain in the ass.”
Thomas laughed, making Gabriëla raise her eyebrows with a smile on her face.
“I'm Thomas.” he said, a smile on his face.
Both girls seemed nice, so he decided to join them as Simon got another round of drinks. He had sat down next to Gabriëla and Lieke and they quickly got into a conversation.
The night was much more fun than Thomas had expected so far. He had been having fun talking to Gabriëla and Lieke. Lieke and Esmée even took him over to the dancefloor somewhere in the evening. Even though Esmée knew he hated to dance. It had been fun anyway. Lieke turned out to be a great teacher and they laughed as Thomas tried to follow her. Mathias had eventually joined Esmée. Making them a couple each. Thomas had fun with Lieke, but every once in a while he felt Simons eyes on his back. It was hard to focus, when Thomas knew he was watching him. But Lieke, who had been obvlious to it, kept dancing with him. Making him feel a little more free.
When the song stopped, Esmée and Mathias had joined Simon again. And Thomas and Lieke found Gabriëla again. It felt like they had split up again.
That's why Lieke eventually decided to go join the others, leaving Thomas and Gabriëla alone.
“Well, that's fun.” she laughed, taking a sip of her Malibu Cola.
“You're saying I'm not fun?” Thomas joked.
She turned her face to him and laughed softly.
“No, I actually think you're awesome.” she laughed, making him smile in relief.
They both looked over to the rest of the group. Simon had taken Lieke onto the dancefloor and Thomas his head started to hurt. He didn't want to watch this. He looked over to Mathias, who silently shook his head at him. He didn't know what was going on either and that scared Thomas.
“You like him, don't you?” Gabriëla suddenly said. He turned around so fast, that his neck hurt.
“No?!” he said immediately.
“Yes, you do. But you are afraid to tell him.” Gabriëla was clearly guessing, but Thomas realised how obvious he must have been.
“Is it that obvious?” he sighed, sinking deeper into the booth.
“Maybe. I'm just someone who reads people easily. But if I'm right, then you should tell him.” she shrugged.
“Well, he's clearly focused on someone else.” he bickered, making her sigh softly.
“He's been looking at you all evening, Thomas.” she stated, making him open his mouth.
But what could he say about that? He didn't know what the man wanted. He never knew. Only when they were in bed. That's the only place Simon made sure he knew what he wanted.
“Why is he flirting with Lieke then?!” he said, a little too harsh.
“I don't know. I barely know you two. But it seems like a game of hard to get with the two of you.” she guessed again.
“I don't think he wants me anyway. He only wants the sex.”
Gabriëla almost choked on her drink, before she quickly put it down.
“What did you say?!” she almost screamed.
Gabriëla looked with big eyes up to Esmée, who seemed to understand exactly what was happening.
“You were never gonna tell me that hottie and hotter are friends with benefits?!” she yelled at Esmée.
Esmée burst out into laughter and a little blush appeared on Thomas his face.
“Don't worry. You're hot. But not my type.” Gabriëla winked at Thomas, making him shake his head. “And I'm not sure I'm your type either.” she joked.
“I'm bisexual, but good point.” he smiled.
But his eyes immediately went back to the dancefloor. Lieke and Simon seemed to be closer than before and his heart was racing. He was boiling from anger.
“Thomas, calm down.” Esmée said, who had come over and took his hand in hers quickly. That's when he noticed he was actually shaking.
“I'm sure they're just having fun as friends.” she said softly. But her words didn't seem to fit her body.
She wasn't even sure what was going on.
“Who asked who?” Thomas muttered. His eyes were darker than before and both Esmée and Gabriëla wondered how this was going to end.
“Simon asked Lieke.” Esmée sighed.
“Lieke doesn't know anything. I didn't either.” Gabriëla said quickly. She didn't want her friend to get blamed for this, but she understood Thomas too.
“Okay.” he spoke, nodding slowly.
“I guess that's it then.”
He grabbed his beer and threw it down his throat. Esmée warned Mathias, but even he wasn't sure what he could do about this. He knew his friends had been doing this for so long now and he always wondered why nothing had happened between them. Apart from the sex. But nobody seemed to know how Simon thought about it all.
“Thomas, please. Just go tell him now. Lieke has a big crush on some blonde haired, german footballplayer anyway. I bet she doesn't really want Simon.”
But as soon as Gabriëla spoke the words, Thomas' worst fear came true. He watched as Simon leaned over to kiss Lieke. A kiss he had shared with him so often. But so incredibly different.
He forgot to breath, just for a second, before he started shaking his head.
“I can't do this.” he mumbled. “I cant- I can't do this.”
He stood up, realising how much alcohol he had in his body, but that didn't matter now.
“Wait, Thomas!” Esmée yelled, but he didn't answer. He knew someone wanted to come after him. But he wanted to be alone now. He didn't deserve this bullshit. And yet here he was. Broken and alone, with way too much alcohol in his body.
He grabbed his jacket and fled the scene.
The cold air outside made him a bit more sober. And he started his walk home. It wasn't far away, but it felt like forever. When he finally came home, he realised Simon was planning to stay over again. The fact his clothes were laying all over Thomas his house made him want to throw up.
And before he could control himself, he was hanging over his own flowerbed in his garden, emptying everything he had inside him. Tears filling his eyes as he did so.
When did he sank so low? How come he was so lost for this man. Simon didn't even care about him.
He tried to get some strength back, before he grabbed his keys from his pocket and went inside. He didn't need to think about where he went next. He wanted to shower. He wanted to clean himself. He felt like hell. He wanted to clean off the puke, eventhough he was sure he didn't throw up over himself. But most of all, he didn't want Simon on his body anymore. He wanted to wash everything away. He undressed himself, hating his own body as he did so. And sat down in the shower. Cold water spatting over his body, but it felt right this way.
It took him a while to realise his phone had been buzzing, only when he grabbed his tootbrush, did he see the messages and missed calls. But he didn't want to answer anyway.
A knock on the door made him look up again.
“Fuck!” he screamed, standing up and checking his phone. He turned off the shower and looked at the missed calls.
Esmée had been calling him a lot, just like Mathias and eventually Simon had started texting him.
Another knock on the door.
But Thomas grabbed a towel and put it around his waist.
The phone started buzzing, Simons name on the screen.
“Fuck you.” he mumbled, trying to compose himself again. He put his hands on his face and screamed into his hands.
His phone lit up again and this time he picked it up.
He swiped over and put the phone to his ear.
“I'm outside. Let me in, please.”
It was Simon and hearing his voice was already hurting Thomas too much.
“No.” Thomas said harshly.
“Listen I can explain.” Simon said, his voice shaking.
Thomas wasn't sure if it was anger, stress or just the alcohol.
“Yeah, explain to me how Liekes lips felt on yours.” he yelled into the phone. “I don't want to hear your excuses, Simon!”
“Thomas, please.” Simon sighed.
Thomas hated himself so much. He hated that whenever he heard Simons voice, he was gone for the man. But he couldn't give in. He couldn't let him do this over and over again. It was too much pain.
“Thomas, I care about you.” he heard Simon say.
Something inside Thomas turned around, anger came over him again. He grabbed his pants, shoved them over his legs. Not caring about how wet they still were and ran downstairs. He opened the door, seeing Simon standing in front of it.
“What do you want?!” he yelled.
Simon stepped inside, closing the door.
“What do you even think you're doing here?!”
Thomas felt like a bomb had gone off in his body. He was so done being played with. He was shaking from anger.
“I came to apologise.” Simon said slowly.
“For what?! I'm good enough to fuck, but loving is not good enough for you, huh? Caring about someone and actually admitting you like them. You don't need that in your life, do you?!” Thomas screamed.
Simon reached for his arms, but Thomas took a step back.
“Fuck off. You wanna fuck me, but not love me. How does that fucking work?” he said.
“Shut your mouth.” Simon said slowly, his eyes getting smaller and smaller.
“I thought you liked it wide open.” Thomas said, just as slowly.
There was silence between them. And Thomas wasn't in the mood for waiting. But Simon wasn't either.
“Fuck, Thomas. I'm sorry I kissed her, okay? It was the heat of the moment!”
“It's because she's a woman, you actually want to kiss her in public. But you don't want that with me. You would never.” he growled, making Simon back off a little.
“That's not- That's not it.” Simon said surprised.
“Then fucking tell me what it is!” Thomas screamed, tears filling his eyes.
Simon shook his head.
“You need to calm down.” he said, trying for his arms again. But yet again, Thomas took a step back.
“I thought you didn't like me, Thomas.” he said slowly. “There. There you have it. I thought you only liked me as someone you could fuck every once in a while.”
Thomas shook his head desperately.
He pointed a finger at him, desperately trying to understand this all.
“I'm not. God, Thomas. You never told me how you felt about me. And I thought it was all this was, just sex. Just us having a good time.” he sighed.
“But if you like me, why did you kiss her?” Thomas said, his voice shaking.
“Because I was jealous. You were with them the whole night. You were having so much fun and when Lieke came over, she was so sweet to me. And I knew she had been staring at me. And I knew she wouldn't back down. I was angry.”
“I didn't even do anything. Not with Lieke, not with Gabriëla. Not with anybody.” he licked his lips and shook his head again. “All this fucking time I've been with nobody. Only you. And you've been flirting on and off with every woman you spot in a crowd. You don't understand how much that hurts, Simon. I'm sorry I'm not as handsome or lovely as you are, but you are so fucking easy with it. You don't even care.”
Simon breathed in, trying to control himself.
“Because I don't fucking care about them, Thomas.” he said, gritting his teeth. “Because I only care about you. So a flirt couldn't do any fucking harm, could it?”
Thomas stared at Simon for a little while.
“You don't know the pain you caused me though. The worrying, the never ending doubt. You could've told me.” he mumbled.
“You didn't either.” Simon threw back at him.
“Because I was scared!” Thomas launched at him. “I was scared you'd laugh at me. Think it's funny. I don't even fucking know if you're even gay. For all I know I'm just your little experiment.”
“You know that's not true. You know that.” Simon muttered, Thomas could hear the pain in his voice.
“If you want me to leave, that's fine. I understand. But I came to say I made a mistake and I hope you can forgive me. If not, then I will find a way to get over it.”
Simon slowly turned to the door, his hand finding the knob. But just as he was about to let go, Thomas pulled him back. Their lips crashed and Thomas was hanging onto Simons shirt as he tried to hold him. His whole body hurting. He knew tears were falling down his cheeks.
He didn't understand why he was crying. Maybe it was pain, maybe it was relief.
“Let me make it up to you.” Simon said, their foreheads touching. “Please.”
Thomas nodded silently, before he watched Simon go upstairs.
He looked down, his body was still shaking a little. But there were so many thoughts going through his mind. He was happy, Simon told him about his feelings. He was sad, the way it had happened. And he was confused, by how this was going to continue.
“Thomas, you okay?!”
He came back to earth, as Simon called him. He took the stairs with two steps and found Simon in his room. On his knees.
He gasped softly, stopping in his tracks.
“Well, c'mon then. You deserve it.” Simon said, almost scared of the response.
“That's- I-” Thomas shook his head as he closed the door behind him.
“I mean, I do like your mouth wide open. But I like mine wide open too, especially if it's your beautiful cock that's in my mouth.”
A smirk had filled his face and Thomas rolled his eyes.
“Come here or I'll get you myself.” Simon said, so Thomas walked over to him.
He looked down at Simon, feeling superior.
Simon raised his hand, grabbing his bulge. He played with it, looking up from under his eyelashes.
Thomas his hand found Simons blonde locks and pulled on them. He pulled his head back, making Simon open his mouth, his gaze never leaving Thomas.
He looked gorgeous like that, Thomas thought.
Simon moved up to his stomach, leaving kisses on his V-line. Thomas closed his eyes, enjoying his touch. A touch he thought he'd never feel again.
Simon traced kisses down his body and let his hands wander down to his pants, before he pulled them down. Leaving him totally naked.
Thomas opened his eyes, as Simon lingered for Thomas his hands. And he finally gave it to him, giving into his feelings and his love for the man in front of him.
Their hands intertwined slowly, as they stared at eachother.
He looked down at Simon, not knowing what to say. All they both realised was the growing erection in between them. It was so easy for Thomas. It was almost shameful. But Simon seemed to adore it, as he let go of one of Thomas his hand and put his hand around his erection. He stroked it slowly, as he looked at Thomas his cock as if it was the most beautiful thing in the world.
Simons hand lingered onto Thomas a little longer, before his hand escaped so he could pull Thomas closer by his ass.
Thomas gasped, as he didn't saw Simons move coming. He felt Simons lips closing around his cock, which was now fully erect. And he sighed happily.
His tongue swerved around the length of his cock, making Thomas feel so good. His hand wandered back to Simons hair, stroking it slowly as he got used to Simons touch around his cock.
He was going so slow, showing all of his apprecation for the curly haired man who was standing in front of him.
Thomas knew Simon usually wasn't that patient. But now that he had to make up for what happened tonight, he had been slower than ever. It was like every single feeling was going through Thomas his body.
He felt Simons head bobbing against his skin, his nose pricking against his body. He knew Simon was taking him all in, making Thomas moan from pleasure. A smile appeared on Simons face, realising he was doing good. He looked up at Thomas as he kept going back and forth. Thomas fists tightend with Simons hair in it. His head got pulled back, making him breath out sharply. His mouth wide open, Thomas cock hanging on top of his lip.
Simon whined, wanting to get back to what he was doing. But Thomas kept his head back, as he felt himself coming closer.
Thomas put his own hand around his cock and rubbed it slowly. Pre-cum was emerging from his cock, as he looked into Simons gorgeous, blue eyes. A smirk covering his face, as he widened his mouth.
He moaned as Thomas placed his cock on Simons tongue, making the cum drip of of it.
Simon tried to move closer, but Thomas kept holding him back and he started moving faster, feeling himself coming so close.
Thomas wanted to close his eyes, letting the feeling come over him, but he wanted to see Simon get dripped all over too.
The fact he still had that gorgeous grin on his face, was enough for Thomas to come all over him.
Simon managed to swallow most of it. But Thomas orgasm was so loud and long, Simon felt his lips getting wetter and wetter. He had put his hands behind his back and closed his eyes, as he took it all in.
Once Thomas was done, he slid his hands down to Simons shoulder and leaned on them, almost to tired to stand.
Simon licked his lips quietly, cleaning himself.
He stood up, taking Thomas into his arms. He rested there, his head on Simons chest, for what felt like forever. He was so tired all of a sudden.
“Let's go to sleep.” Simon whispered, placing a kiss on Thomas his curls.
“What about you?” Thomas muttered, but Simon knew how tired he was. And he didn't want to keep him up any longer than what was needed after this night.
“Don't worry.” he spoke softly.
Thomas finally looked up, his eyes little.
“You're absolutely ready for bed.” Simon laughed, cupping his face.
A tired smile appeared on Thomas his face.
“Simon..” he mumbled. “Do you really like me?”
Simon stared at him for a few seconds and nodded.
“I wouldn't lie about it, Thomas. I do.”
Thomas showed him a smile so tired, weak and yet so beautiful, that he couldn't help himself as he kissed him again.
“Do you love me?” he whispered against Simons lips.
Simon eyes widened.
“Do you?” he whispered again.
“You know what..” Simon then said. “I do. I do fucking love you and I've been too afraid to give in to you and to that fact. But we're here now and I'm not afraid to say it. I love you, Thomas Delaney.”
Thomas his heart was about to burst out of his chest. There was so many unspoken words, said in such a tiny sentence.
“I love you too, Simon.” he answered, putting his arms around his neck and hugging the taller man.
“I'm glad.” Simon sighed happily, his chin resting on his shoulder.
They stood there for what felt like forever, before they decided to go to bed. It didn't take long for Thomas to fall asleep. His leg was hanging over Simons body, his head on Simons chest. And Simon, who was far from tired, but still really happy with Thomas in his arms, held him close. His arms locked around Thomas smaller body.
One of his hands was stroking Thomas his curls mindlessly, as he looked down at the man.
“I really do love you, Thomas.” he sighed. “And I'm sorry for hurting you.”
He turned himself to Thomas, layed down better and closed his eyes.
Little did he know, a smile had appeared on Thomas his face, right after he had said those words.
Little did he know, that was all Thomas had ever needed to hear.