• Probeer maar!

    How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.


    Un rêve peut mourir mais on n'enterre jamais l'avenir.


    Sometimes your plans don't work out because God has better ones.

    Cleverbot: Copy and Paste.
    User: No.
    Cleverbot: Yes.
    User: No.
    Cleverbot: Yes meaning, yes I am a man.
    User: You can't force me to do it.
    Cleverbot: Yes I can.
    User: How then?
    Cleverbot: I walk in to the forest so therefore I am in the forest.
    User: Right... x'D

    Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. - Coco Chanel

    Nala Rose Garcia

    Life is like a novel, you're the author and everyday is a new page

    Question to discuss:
    You're getting a divorce. Fight over the dog!
    Stranger 2: clever
    Stranger 1: IT'S NOT MY FAULT. I WAS HUNGRY.

    [ bericht aangepast door Abaddon op 2 juni 2012 - 21:22 ]

    People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

    Dit is dus m'n planning :c

    di 12/06: Latijn (4uur)
    woe 13/06: Fysica (2uur) + aardrijkskunde (2uur)
    don 14/06: NL (4uur)
    vrij 15/06: Grieks (4uur)
    Ma 18/06: wiskunde (4uur)
    di 19/06: Grieks (2uur) + chemie (2uur)
    woe 20/06 Frans (4uur)
    don 21/06: geschiedenis (2uur) + engels (2uur)
    vrij 22/06: Latijn (2uur) + godsdienst (2uur)
    ma 25/06: eerst 2 uur studie en dan biologie (2uur)

    How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

    Cum a-

    Un rêve peut mourir mais on n'enterre jamais l'avenir.

    [ bericht aangepast door Andria op 2 juni 2012 - 21:41 ]

    faeries aire and death waltz

    Zoek dit op zou ik zeggen en speel het op de piano!xD

    Maak d'r 'n filmpje van en zet het op youtube en laat de rest van de wereld horen dat je pinda's hebt geinsert. En het als de rolliong stones hebt gespeeldxD

    Humanity stops where our love goes further, 'till the end of time we will be together. There lie my hopes and dreams.

    It was summertime. The weather had finally turned pleasantly cool, and the bright sun wasn't blocked by the clouds on most days. It had certainly taken the winter weather long enough to give in to the slight warmth, however. To Kai it had passed slowly like a cold, dark, and monotone nightmare, punctuated only by the memory of the feel of Takao's touches behind his eyelids as he lay in the dark.

    He'd made it through. He'd made it. And even though he couldn't tell whether it was the new warmth or his own accustomedness to the large mansion that caused it, Kai was somehow more okay of being there. He'd be fine as long as the summer lasted.

    On a day in July when he had a few windows open and was reading the newspaper he'd picked up from town in the morning, the doorbell rang unexpectedly.

    Kai set the paper down. The only surprise visitor he could think of would be from his grandfather's collection of cronies. After a moment of considering ignoring the comer, the doorbell rang again, and Kai sighed and got up to answer it.

    He threw the door open, just waiting to find himself looking at an unpleasant face. What he found instead simply shocked him. There on the main step stood a bright faced Takao lugging a satchel on his shoulder. Behind him a taxi was driving away on the driveway.

    Kai stared.

    Takao said, "Hey."

    And in that moment of intense joy Kai's body could do nothing but be commanded to grab the bluenette by the scruff of his shirt and drag him forward. Their lips met somehow, clumsily; Kai let out a shuddering breath at the searing contact. His hand tightened at Takao's neckline. Kai kissed him fervently, as though in desperation to let him understand. The visitor shivered in his touch and pulled back.

    The smile in Takao's eyes was all Kai could see.

    "I'm glad you missed me as much as I missed you," Takao told him, and then embraced him tightly.

    Kai did not have a single thought in his mind telling him to think about what he was doing as he squeezed the other back. It felt natural for Takao to be in his arms. It felt as though they belonged there, standing on the threshold hugging one another.

    It was a long while of heaven later that they finally pulled back and looked at each other. Kai looked away uncertainly now.

    "Sorry," he murmured.

    Takao's hand tapped his chin, making Kai look at him again.

    "I don't know what you're apologizing for, but you're forgiven," he smiled.

    And just like that, their lips met again and this time the kiss was slow and beautiful was the only way Kai could think to describe it. It was only natural.


    Kai didn't know how he did it with Takao's eyes boring into his back, but he managed to make them a quick dinner. He put the food on the table and sat down beside the bluenette but neither of them touched the stir fry. They were too busy stealing glances at each other until Takao said, "Ah, screw it," and boldly grabbed Kai's hand.

    Kai didn't resist. They remained holding hands palm to palm. Both palms were warm and seemed to fit in perfectly with each other: Takao's slightly smaller, tanned hand was a marvel within Kai's own.

    Takao entwined their fingers together and set the elbow of his other arm on the table. He looked at Kai.

    "I guess I should say sorry for not letting you know I was coming," he said.

    A shrug was his only answer.

    A devious smile played on Takao lips.

    "Then again," he continued, "You would not have been surprised enough to kiss me like that."

    His turned head continued to look at Kai's side profile until the Hiwatari heir slowly turned his own head to face him. Takao's eyes held an intense light of a type Kai had not witnessed before.

    Kai titled his head and smirked.

    "Are you trying to tell me something?"

    Amusement joined the intensity in Takao's orbs.

    "Maybe I am," he agreed.

    So Kai leaned forward and allowed their lips to meet for the third time that day.


    In the dead of night it was not silent anymore, as Kai was used to it being. He lay with Takao on the bed in his room (used again for the first time since Takao had left back in the winter) and their bodies were in an interlock. They were half embracing, half holding hands, turned to each other. Kai could feel Takao's breath on his chest as the bluenette talked and talked and talked. He talked about how he felt ("I couldn't stop thinking about you, you know. I missed you so much.") and complained about school ("Exams were a pain. But I'm glad I'm done with high school, dunno yet about college.") and mentioned trivial things ("This one time…")

    His voice filled the room, fought off the silence Kai was used to in this house. Kai drank up every syllable because to him the constant flow of words was like a salvation. It took him away from the damned silence. He could not ask for more.

    And then suddenly Takao buried his face in Kai's chest and chuckled. The sound vibrated magnificently within Kai, who had a sudden and indescribable urge to laugh as well.

    Kai snuffed the impulse and instead said, "What's so funny?"

    Takao lifted his head, and his mirthful eyes met Kai's full on. For a moment Kai felt as though he was struck dumb.

    "Nothing," the bluenette told him, "It's just, lying here, with you. Who could have thought? Being hugged like this," Takao squeezed him harder, "and touched like this," he wiggled his hand within Kai's, "By you, Kai?"

    Kai thought about it, and came to the conclusion that it was in fact surreal.

    Takao continued, "It's like in a dream. I don't want it to be a dream."

    He continued to grin at Kai until Kai lowered his eyes to those delicious, smiling lips and said, "It's not."

    His words had the intent of reassuring himself more than Takao.

    Because to Kai, it also felt like a dream.


    Late in the morning the next day Takao gave Kai a surprise good-morning hug. Kai had been standing at the stove frying eggs and sausage when a form had suddenly clasped him from behind. He had been too lost in his own thoughts to hear the other come in. He allowed himself to be held, relaxing into the warmth of the embrace.

    Takao held on gently, his arms encircled around Kai's waist, and audibly sniffed in Kai's scent. Then his chin came to rest on Kai's shoulder.

    "Mm, you smell good…"

    Kai smirked, his own hands coming to rest on top of Takao's.

    "And you feel nice," Takao continued, snuggling against Kai's back.

    "You should be glad I didn't pummel you for surprising me like that," Kai told him. He didn't really mean it, and rubbed the bluenette's hands beneath his to show him that.

    Takao wasn't bothered, "You wouldn't do that," he said with a contagious little laugh, "Do you know why, Kai?"

    He spun Kai around, and they stood face to face. Kai looked at him with amusement.

    "Why?" he asked, just to humor him.

    "Because I know you better now," Takao said, seriously, "See—"

    And he leaned forward, without hesitation, and let his lips rest against the corner of Kai's mouth. It was highly reminiscent of that winter day at the airport when Takao was leaving and had given Kai a spontaneous little kiss.

    Kai's fingers sought Takao's as his mouth stretched into a true smile beneath the soft touch of the other's lips.


    Takao did not leave in a week, or after a month. The days passed in a joyous blur: they felt too good to Kai, who enjoyed every little moment of his isolation with Takao in the big mansion. The mansion was alright after all, thought Kai, as long as the bluenette stayed with him.


    One morning while Takao still slept, sprawled up haphazardly on the king-sized bed, Kai heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. He had brought up a mug of coffee and sat watching the rising and falling of the bluenette's breathing; every breath Takao took felt to Kai like his own, keeping him alive. Kai marveled at this discovery, and then wondered if it was too sentimental.

    Now the doorbell rang again, and Kai stood and began to walk out to answer it. A surprise visitor, then. For a second he spaced out, remembering the last time he'd had a surprise 'visitor', ending in him being reunited with a blue-haired angel.

    The bell rang a third time, impatient and incessant. Kai descended the stairs, deciding that this time, the surprise visitor had to be an unpleasant face: his luck surely could not strike twice. Not that he wanted anyone, pleasant or not, to intrude on what he had with Takao.

    Kai made it to the door after the bell had gone off a fourth and a fifth time. He swung the door open only to see a face he'd been glad not to see for a while: his grandfather's representative.

    "What a surprise," Kai said, wanting the statement to play with the man's mind.

    It worked: the man looked uncertain what to make of the comment, and then seemed to decide on ignoring it. Kai stepped out and shut the door behind him. They stood in the nice morning breeze as he waited for the other to speak.

    "Mr. Hiwatari," the representative finally began, in that business like, expressionless tenor of his, "It has been a long time."

    Kai raised an eyebrow but remained silent as he waited for the rest.

    "I am here," the man continued, "to inform you of a few progressions. Am I to assume that you will not invite me inside?"

    It took only a moment of thinking before Kai shrugged and threw the door open again. He allowed the man to precede him in to the house.

    "Perhaps next time you'll have the forethought to let me know you're coming, instead of just showing up," Kai said sardonically from behind.

    He could tell that the representative was slightly confused by this new talkativeness, and smirked mentally.

    But the man was quickly up to pace as he replied with, "I'll keep that in mind."

    Kai ushered him into the living room, watched him with disdain as the man made himself comfortable on his favorite couch. He remained standing, leaning against the wall, and waited. He wanted this un-agreed upon meeting to be over as soon as possible.

    "I am here," the deep voice rang out, "to inform you regretfully that your grandfather's state is deteriorating. He has asked that you come to see him again before the chance is lost."

    Kai thought about the last visit he paid his grandfather. Then he shrugged.

    "I'm not going."

    "I would like you to think about it. It could be the last time you see your grandfather."

    When no further response was made, the man went on.

    "Apart from that, I am here to remind you of the conditions you were informed of upon your arrival here, at your family's estate. After nine months, it cannot be clearer than you will not willingly follow your grandfather's wishes. But I would like you to remember, Mister Hiwatari, that truly your grandfather wants the best for you, and that your fate lies with him."

    Kai grit his teeth at this point.

    "By all means, I am here to tell you that you must start giving this issue your full attention."

    "Meaning?" Kai mocked.

    "Meaning this: it does not seem, unfortunately, that Master Hiwatari will last much longer. He has refused to pass on the family's assets to you until you agree to his conditions. As such, by leaving this very important issue hanging, you are putting everything at stake. You stand to lose everything: your family's estate, the company, and everything else you are supposed to inherit."

    Kai wasn't told previously of this consequence, but he wasn't fazed. The man's words kept coming.

    "Simply put: you will become detached from your noble family. You can see by now, I believe, how urgent this issue is, especially with your grandfather's health condition at the moment. Should he… pass on before this is resolved, then there will be no hope for you of recovering anything."

    There was the sound of footsteps, and a softly issued, "Kai?"

    Takao showed up in the doorway a few seconds later, distracting Kai from the matter at hand. The bluenette was still in his pajamas, his hair mussed, and looked surprised to find an unfamiliar man sitting in the living room.

    "Am I interrupting something?" he asked interestedly.

    The Hiwatari representative looked just as surprised to find that Kai had a houseguest, and seemed displeased when Kai turned to Takao and said, "Stay."

    Kai turned back to the man, "So, in order for my grandfather to recognize me as his kin, I have to do the following: agree to a business marriage, get hitched to an unknown female, and, as an extra gift, get to deal with the Hiwatari company," his voice dripped with sarcasm, "Correct?"

    The man looked relieved that he finally was making some headway into Kai's stubborn mindset. He nodded.

    Kai grabbed Takao's wrist and pulled him to him. He titled his head and let his lips connect with Takao's softly for a moment, before he embraced him tighter and looked over the bluenette's shoulder directly into the shocked man's eyes.

    "Well, tell my grandfather that unless my bride is Takao here, he can forget it."

    He watched with a smirk as the man, looking enraged and disgusted, got up and walked back down the hall to the front door. Kai and Takao both followed, Takao looking a little bit confused.

    The man paused in the open doorway.

    "Know that if this is your final decision, you will come to regret it."

    "Good-bye," Kai pronounced, then slammed the door behind him.

    He turned to a bemused-looking Takao and sighed.


    It took Takao some time to digest the confession. After a while of looking a mixture of cross and bewildered, he seemed to come to his senses.

    "But Kai, you can't give up everything so easily!" he was now arguing as they stood in the kitchen.

    "So cave in to Voltaire?"

    "Well… no, but there has to be something…"

    "There isn't," Kai dismissed.

    "You're going to lose everything!" Takao insisted.

    Kai turned and let the tap run for a bit before filling up a glass of water.

    "No. I'd rather have you," he said finally.

    His back was turned and so he did not see how Takao seemed to falter for a moment. Then a warm look passed into Takao's eyes as he regarded his feet with a smile.


    That night, as Takao seemed to be falling asleep, he suddenly let out a laugh.

    Startled, Kai looked at him. Takao opened his eyes and grinned.

    "I just remembered that you called me a bride earlier," he said, and laughed again.

    Kai turned back to look at the ceiling with a small smile, "And?"

    He received a slap on the arm.

    "Kai, you jerk!" Takao said, still laughing. Then he rolled closer and snuggled against Kai's side.

    Smiling at the wonder beside him, Kai raised his hand and let it run through the soft, long locks of hair.

    Though he said no more, he felt that should he have to pick between the two of them, Takao would definitely be the bride.


    The end of the summer rolled by, and Takao was still there. Kai heard no more from his grandfather's side, but was sure it was forthcoming. For now, however, he was just glad to lay beside the bluenette in the dark of night, to show him the depth of his feelings and to be shown in return.

    And in the morning, he'd cook breakfast and Takao would stuff his face and call for seconds and thirds, and then blame Kai for "draining my energy."

    In the evenings they developed the habit of watching the beautiful summer sunset, and Kai never missed it because there would be a sun sitting right beside him.

    Kai pondered, sometimes, how he had fallen in to the routine and sameness of being with someone. But Takao had pulled him in, and left him completely snared. Living through the loudness and craziness and spontaneity of Takao made him realize that he could not see beyond what he had. It was heaven.

    Even though they often squabbled and argued, they would somehow end up kissing roughly in frustration or anger, and would continue kissing gently for forgiveness. It was quite puzzling.

    But Kai wouldn't trade it for anything else.

    Ha! I invent the word impossible. That's why I am the champ. Whether I like it or not.

    He turned red. ‘N-no. But that’s different.’ ‘It’s not! It’s the same. Just accept the fact that I care about her even though she doesn’t know who I am!’ ‘She doesn’t know who you are? What the fuck, seriously. You have one fucked up family.’ ‘Dude, please don’t. I don’t think it’s funny, I have a really bad feeling about it.’

    People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.


    How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

    Today is the oldest you have ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be.