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xHungryHoran: TheHatedOne... TheHATEDOne?! Here's what, I don't hate you! If you would be gone, I would care! Might sound as a lie to you 'cause we don't know each other that good, but I definitely would care! I would care if you'd die unhappy. You deserve THE BEST! You deserve happiness, faith, healthiness, luck, true love, anything you'd like! I don't want you to be gone before you got what you deserve! What everyone deserves (Except some haters maybe)! I would cry! Not only for you but for everyone whom lost you, everyone who'd feel guilty then! And I'd cry because life is unfair. Because I'm happy, I have luck, I have not much to fear. Maybe I deserve that, maybe I don't. But I don't think it's fair that I have this and you don't. If I could, I'd give you some of my luck. 'cause I don't want all of this things that are supposed to make me happy if... others don't have it. I want you to feel the luck like I do. I want you to be able to smile sincere like I can. I want you to laugh about the silly things as I would. I want you to see the bright side of life. I want you to be standing in my shoes. Because you deserve that, perhaps more than me. Listen, you do have friends. 'Cause I will be your friend. I want to be your friend. you're not alone. You can talk with me anytime, I'll be there for you. That bulliers, are just stupid. They're just jealous they're just insecure themselves. They're afraid. They aren't perfect, so they're seeking a victim which they can knock down to feel better themselves. They're just selfish and arrogant. I don't know if it's you on that pic, but if it is, then I see a really beautiful girl over there. And you know what? That girl would be even prettier with a sincere smile on her face. I know it's hard, but... Hurting yourself is not the solution. What do you reach with it? Scars all over your body, is that what you want? To get your enemies what they want; "sensation"? Please, don't kill yourself anyway. You're not here for no reason. I don't believe in that. If I'd know you in person, I would go to that stupid haters and I'd tell them what a good person you acutually are. I'd tell them what I think of them. I wouldn't care if they'd throw dirty words at me, if they'd kick me, if they'd try to break me, if they'd be angry. I don't give a shit. I just want you to be happy. If you're really sick of life, and you want to give up, let me first give you the love that you deserve. I'd skip a school day if I could safe you with that. I'd travel far and wide for you, then take you with me and give you a home where you could be loved. I'd show you to my friends and I know they will accept you as you are. Please. Open your eyes, 'cause there definitely are persons who do love you or would love you. Again, I don't want you to die. I love you, because you're human.


Me:



Sometimes i feel like nothing. If i was gone tomorow. Would anybody cry? Would anybody care? Would anybody even notice? No they wont. But i keep holding on. Keep faking that smile and be the happy, perfect, crazy girl everyone thinks i am. The girl who has no friends. The girl who gets bullied. The girls who has made one little mistake that ruined her life. The girl who isnt who everybody think she is. The girl who's depressed. The girl who self harms. The girl who wants to die. But yea, thats just inside. On the outside i'm the perfect happy girl...




One day i'll kill myself. Not today. Not tomorow. But i will. One day.


I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died..


This is me:


2e account Janoskiansss


Dont trust no bitch, it brings tears...

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Gastenboek (641)

  • Clingy

    First, I love your story! (: Sorry dat ik er zo laat op reageer haha, maar ik heb dus een kijkje genomen en je hebt er een abo bij, yay! Zou je ook een keer eens bij mijn nieuwe verhaal willen kijken?
    Dark Paradise • Larry Stylinson
    & second, please just open your eyes and see that there are actually loaaaads of people who do care about you, like me! So if you want to talk or whatever, I'm there for you! <3
    xxxx

    9 jaar geleden
  • xHappyHoran

    There's nothing wrong with crying. I wish I could comfort you right now. I understand why you feel horrible, and yes, that's life, but there are also good things in life. Sometimes you have to search far and dig (Wat een woord, klinkt als 'dick'... Sorry, ik raak soms nogal snel afgeleid van mijn eigen verhaal... *schraapt keel*.) deep, but if you keep trying you'll get a reward one day. I believe that, I think that. You don't have to hurt yourself for the mistakes of others. That's not fair. And food, you need to enjoy that. All that different flavours, isn't that lovely? If you just close your eyes and eat slowly, rather alone so you can enjoy the silence. You can better be too fat than too thin, believe me. You know how disgusting it is to look at someone who looks like a skeleton? It hurts me to look at such persons. They weakened their body so much. They get dizzy very fast. They have it cold very fast. And they're so easy to break, literally. You're not able to defend yourself then. So please, don't worry about the food you're eating. You can do something about being fat, but not so easy about being too thin. What you can do about being fat is sporting a lot. It's healthy and it makes you stronger too. For some people it even builds confidence, don't ask me how. Ever thought about a boxball? You can beat against it and so lose your frustrations without hurting yourself or anybody else. You lose calories on a healthy way though. And you make yourself stronger (as long as you eat enough proteines and stuff). If you practise a lot, you'll be able to defend yourself. Wouldn't that be a good thing? Being your own savior? Maybe it can take your fear of getting hurt a bit away. You can at least try, if you want to. When I was in second grade, I got bullied to. Probably not as worse as you, but there were some kids who liked to push me from the stairs and stuff. I used to take pictures from their fb and hang them on a dartboard and then throwing arrows in their eyes and stuff. Not because I wanted them to suffer. No, I would never want that. Just to lose my frustrations over them. It kept me busy and it helped me to not think about the dirty things they told me. At gym I became better because I used to imagine I was throwing a ball at them or beating with the bat against their head. I hated them. Now I regret that. Of course it's awful what they did to me and to others, but really hating someone... is just not my style. I forgave everything they did. Sometimes I even am grateful to them, because they made me stronger, gave me higher notes for gym, made me see who you can trust and who not. Because they took away all of my friends, I know now that these 'friends' were not to trust. They say sometimes: What hurts, teaches. (Wat deert, leert) That might be true. I live with you, I feel with you. I wish I could help you, I really do. I absolutely do care. I don't want you to give up. If you just keep on fighting, I know for sure that this all will be over one day. You'll find the luck that you deserve. Definitely. So many celebrities you can take as example. So many celebrities got bullied in their past and now are the ones who live a happy life. Jessy J - Who's laughing now. One of my favourite songs, You're not nothing. You're human, just like all the others. Yes, you make mistakes, but that's okay. Everyone makes them. Even Einstein made mistakes. And I take you as my friend. That's what you are to me. I respect you, whether you believe that or not. You don't bother me. I'm glad you talk about it. I read every message someone sends me, and I don't blame anyone. Just know my guestbook is always open, okay? I'm here for you.

    9 jaar geleden
  • xHappyHoran

    TheHatedOne...
    TheHATEDOne?!:S
    Here's what, I don't hate you!
    If you would be gone, I would care! Might sound as a lie to you 'cause we don't know each other that good, but I definitely would care! I would care if you'd die unhappy. You deserve THE BEST! You deserve happiness, faith, healthiness, luck, true love, anything you'd like! I don't want you to be gone before you got what you deserve! What everyone deserves (Except some haters maybe)! I would cry! Not only for you but for everyone whom lost you, everyone who'd feel guilty then! And I'd cry because life is unfair. Because I'm happy, I have luck, I have not much to fear. Maybe I deserve that, maybe I don't. But I don't think it's fair that I have this and you don't. If I could, I'd give you some of my luck. 'cause I don't want all of this things that are supposed to make me happy if... others don't have it. I want you to feel the luck like I do. I want you to be able to smile sincere like I can. I want you to laugh about the silly things as I would. I want you to see the bright side of life. I want you to be standing in my shoes. Because you deserve that, perhaps more than me. Listen, you do have friends. 'Cause I will be your friend. I want to be your friend. you're not alone. You can talk with me anytime, I'll be there for you. That bulliers, are just stupid. They're just jealous they're just insecure themselves. They're afraid. They aren't perfect, so they're seeking a victim which they can knock down to feel better themselves. They're just selfish and arrogant. I don't know if it's you on that pic, but if it is, then I see a really beautiful girl over there. And you know what? That girl would be even prettier with a sincere smile on her face. I know it's hard, but... Hurting yourself is not the solution. What do you reach with it? Scars all over your body, is that what you want? To get your enemies what they want; "sensation"? Please, don't kill yourself anyway. You're not here for no reason. I don't believe in that. If I'd know you in person, I would go to that stupid haters and I'd tell them what a good person you acutually are. I'd tell them what I think of them. I wouldn't care if they'd throw dirty words at me, if they'd kick me, if they'd try to break me, if they'd be angry. I don't give a shit. I just want you to be happy. If you're really sick of life, and you want to give up, let me first give you the love that you deserve. I'd skip a school day if I could safe you with that. I'd travel far and wide for you, then take you with me and give you a home where you could be loved. I'd show you to my friends and I know they will accept you as you are. Please. Open your eyes, 'cause there definitely are persons who do love you or would love you. Again, I don't want you to die. I love you, because you're human.

    9 jaar geleden
  • Niallerslove

    I love you too. <3

    9 jaar geleden
  • Azriel

    Your profile hurts me. just know i'll always be there for ya.

    9 jaar geleden

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